Major League

The 1989 baseball comedy film Major League remains a touchstone for film fans who like baseball, comedy, and/or baseball comedy. It's a generally well-regarded movie in the celebrated genre of baseball movies - not typically ranked in the top tier with Bull Durham, Field of Dreams, and The Natural, but a significant entry in the conversation.

But for me, and most other Cleveland Indians fans, it's something even more special - not just a hilarious baseball flick, but a hilarious baseball flick about our team, and for those of us living in the Forest City, a movie about our town. The dialogue and characters from Major League have become inseparably intertwined with fandom of the actual Cleveland Indians club - "Wild Thing" blares from the speakers at every game, "Vaughn" and "Dorn" jerseys outnumber those of the actual ballplayers, and as a little kid I could barely keep straight which one was Willie Mays Hayes and which one was Kenny Lofton. I don't know of a professional sports franchise whose identity is so closely tied to a fictional film, with the possible exception of Anaheim's hockey club before they dropped the "Mighty" part of their nickname.


As usual, I'll just throw out my semi-chronological, semi-coherent take on the film, a funny baseball pic for most and an enduring cult classic for fans of the Tribe.

- I couldn't possibly enjoy the opening montage of Major League more. Over the strains of Randy Newman's bittersweet "Burn On," we see shots of Cleveland in all its '80's Rust Belt glory. I suspect I would have enjoyed the downtrodden Cleveland of that era as much as I enjoy the steadily rising (but still kinda downtrodden) Cleveland of today. The very first image is of one of the Guardians of Traffic, a group of stone men keeping watch on the Lorain-Carnegie bridge to whom I give a special salute to every time I cross the Cuyahoga that way, which is quite often. It's remarkable how much the cityscape still looks like that opening view, other than the conspicuous absence of the yet-to-be constructed Key Tower.

- The juxtaposition in the second shot is probably striking to a lot of viewers, as a neighborhood baseball game is being played directly adjacent to tall white industrial towers. Doesn't seem weird to me at all - that's Clark Fields, where I play in my football league. No, really, I like this movie for more than the Cleveland stuff, I promise.

- My buddy JHH devised the best possible way to experience this movie - simply fast-forward through all the scenes with Rene Russo. Nothing personal, Rene ... you're just not adding a lot of value here. I liked Thomas Crown Affair.

- If you're up for a challenge, try this Sporcle quiz to list the Indians' lineup in the one-game playoff against the Yankees for the division title. Any more than six, and you're a superfan. The Spring Training segment of the film is a really effective way to introduce the Tribe's cast of characters: flamboyant speedster Willie May Hayes (Wesley Snipes), down-on-his-luck catcher Jake Taylor (Tom Berenger), spoiled star Roger Dorn (Corbin Bernsen), superstitious Latino slugger Pedro Cerrano (an almost unrecognizable pre-President David Palmer version of Dennis Haysbert), ex-con flamethrower (Charlie Sheen) and croaky-voiced manager Lou Brown (James Gammon). Pretty impressive cast of future stars and a lot of memorable personalities for one 90-minute baseball comedy.

- You know who else was in this movie? Me! I was a fan in old Cleveland Municipal Stadium when they filmed the overhead shot of the actual Indians night game that was used in the film right before the one-game playoff. I can still remember them announcing over the loudspeaker that the shot was going to be used in an upcoming film. Admittedly, it's possible that the shot was actually in Major League 2, but whatever.

- On the flipside of that, it's curious that legendary Tribe drummer John Adams doesn't get any screen time here. I guess the fourteen years of hammering his bass drum at almost every game that he'd put in to that point wasn't enough to merit a cameo.

- I was watching this in Pittsburgh one time with my buddy Gopo, and when odious ex-showgirl owner Rachel Phelps says derisively, "No wonder they haven't won a pennant in 35 years," he asked the perfectly legitimate question, "is that still true, have they still not won one?" I immediately, and with unnecessary haste and enthusiasm rallied to my Tribe's defense: "No! They've won two!" Easy, Francis. Still no World Series since '48 - the Cubs get all the press for their Series drought, but the Indians are #2 in that department with a bullet. I don't really see why we should be talking about this. Moving right along ...

- Of course, the hapless Tribe doesn't actually even win a pennant in Major League. That's right - the climactic, triumphant victory that caps off the movie is actually just a one-game playoff for the American League East crown. The fictional Erie Warriors would still have to knock off the AL West Champions in the ALCS to claim the American League pennant, THEN beat the National League champion for a World Series title. In fact, Major League 2 reveals that the Indians went on to lose the ALCS to the Chicago White Sox, failing even to reach the Series. That's how bleak it's been for Cleveland sports fans, ladies and gentlemen. Not only have none of our three major teams won a championship since 1964, not only have we suffered some of the most iconic gut-punch losses in sports lore ... but even when they make a movie about a Cleveland sports team succeeding, we still can't win. Unbelievable. Some day, though, as Jake Taylor says, there will be only one thing left to do: win the whole fuckin' thing.

- Is there some reason the Academy didn't give Gammon some sort of Lifetime Achievement award for his portrayal of manager Lou Brown? I dare you to find me a more effective use of the word "shitburger." Also, one of these days, I'm going to get myself a sport coat with a Chief Wahoo crest on it like the one Brown sports about the Indian Express. That's a solid look.

- I often want to use the coach's line when Charlie Sheen's Ricky Vaughn makes his first appearance at Spring Training: "Look at this fuckin' guy!" I'm not sure it's well-traveled enough to work in most company, though.

- Gotta love those '80's Tribe uniforms. Those were their look the first few years of my fandom, and I'm still fond of the simple block letters and red, white, and blue color scheme (plus the road grays). They've gone back to that look to some extent with their boss road grays of today (with a red block "C" on the blue cap instead of Chief Wahoo), though they still rock the red script "Indians" on their home whites. The less said about their alternate cream-colored home jerseys with the bright red caps, the better.

- How come no one uses the bullpen cart anymore?

- The success of Major League led to two forgettable sequels - Major League 2, featuring much of the original cast, and Major League: Back to the Minors, with new cast members. Blah.

- As exasperated, then ultimately rejuvenated, Tribe broadcaster and Jack Daniel's (yes, I put the apostrophe in the right place) enthusiast Harry Doyle, actual Milwaukee Brewers play-by-play guy and "Mr Baseball" Bob Uecker does an absolutely fantastic job here. From "Juuuuust a bit outside" to "In case you haven't noticed ... and based on the attendance, you haven't," he brings a constant stream of bonus comedy to all the game action. Such is the legend of the movie that Doyle has his own fake twitter account, as does his mostly mute color guy Monte and, of course, Cerrano's spiritual adviser Jobu.

- I read on Major League's Wikipedia page that there was an alternate (or perhaps original) ending where, instead of a bitchy villian, she's actually a die-hard Tribe fan who adopts her persona to motivate the team, and had all along masterminded the assembly of the ragtag group.

- The final game is really a well-constructed sequence, involving all of the principals in believable and clever ways, especially bringing Vaughn on in relief and earning thousands and thousands of dollars in royalties for the Troggs (even though they use some cheesy remake in the movie). The winning run, where Hayes scores from second on a bunt, even foreshadows Kenny Lofton's amazing dash home from second on a passed ball in the '95 ALCS. I told you it was easy to get those two confused!



I'm not going to lie to you - seeing that jacked-up fake crowd in Major League and watching Kenny sprint around the diamond brings back fond memories of the Indians' playoff appearances in the '90's and '00's. We gotta get back, friends.


For me, at least, Major League is the lens through which I view baseball - there are so many common situations in baseball where the first thing that springs to mind is a line from Major League. To wit:

* A speedy player: "With your speed you should be hittin' 'em on the ground and leggin' 'em out." - Manager Lou Brown to Willie Mays Hayes.

* A player gator arms a grounder: "Don't give me this 'olé' bullshit!" - Brown to Third Baseman Roger Dorn.

* A player boots a grounder: "At least he didn't spike himself." - Broadcaster Harry Doyle, about Dorn.

* A losing streak or tough loss: "They're still shitty." - The Asian groundkeepers.

* A towering home run from an opponent: "Too high? What does that mean, too high?" - One of the fans in the outfield bleachers.

* A nasty breaking ball: "KY ball from Harris." - Doyle, of course.

* A player swings and misses on a curveball: "Straight ball, I hit it very much. Curveball ... bats are afraid." - Pedro Cerrano.

* A pitch well out of the strike zone: "Juuuust a bit outside." - Doyle

* An inept offensive performance by the Wahoos: "One hit? That's all we got, one god damn hit?"


There you have it, sports fans - Major League, an enduring sports and comedy classic with an extra-special spot in the hearts of Cleveland Indians fans like me.

The Downtown Report: 2012 in Cleveland and Ohio Sports

First up, a little housekeeping. For years I've called this semi-regular feature "The Downtown Report" so I could talk about our favorite teams and give some perspective from my perch downtown, in the epicenter of the action. However, I've now moved, and unless you're one of those suburbanites who thinks everything with a Cleveland address is "downtown," the term is no longer accurate. I'm in Ohio City, or Detroit Shoreway if you prefer - still only three miles away from Cleveland sports glory. I think I'll keep the name for this feature, though.

On to sports. I began my Downtown Report 2011 review of Cleveland sports with the simple phrase, "That was tough," referring to the difficulty of enduring collective fandom of the Cleveland professional teams and The Ohio State University.

2012 was also fairly tough, in case you didn't notice. In fact, the whole situation is and has been kind of dire. For perspective, consider a piece I wrote last year documenting how 2011 and 1991 were the two worst seasons in aggregate since I started watching in the mid-80's. This past campaign wasn't quite as awful as those for OSU-friendly Clevelanders, but it wasn't far off:

- The Cavs remained buried at the bottom of the Central Division, though they moved up from 15th in the East to 13th (yay) and improved their win percentage from .232 to .318 (fyi: it was .805 and .744 the two years prior). That's pretty much holding steady since the club's nightmarish first season post-LeBron. They're at .226 in the 2012-13 campaign so far, in case you were wondering.

- The Indians totally collapsed after a solid start, posting a dismal 68-94 record and barely edging Minnesota to avoid the worst record in the AL. That's a significant drop from their 2nd-place 2011 campaign.

- The Browns are 5-10 and at the bottom of the AFC North following up a season where they went 4-12 and ended up at the bottom of the North. Business as usual.

In total, for a fan of only the Cleveland clubs, 2012 was even a rawer deal in total than was 2011, and frankly, things aren't exactly looking up. The Cavs' roster is painfully thin, the Browns' rookie QB is almost as old as me, and the Indians are mired in small-market purgatory.

But how about those Buckeyes! Ohio State had a banner year in athletics, as the basketball team led by Jared Sullinger made a Final Four appearance and the Renegade Buckeyes football squad posted a sparkling 12-0 perfect season despite a postseason ban. I'm glad the scarlet and gray were around to alleviate some of the misery caused by the blue, red, white, brown, orange, wine, and gold.

But hey, sports are supposed to be fun, so let's try to have ourselves a nice little retrospective and hit some of the high points, such as they were. We'll also see how my quick predictions for the teams worked out.


Tribe
It's hard to tell what to expect from the 2012 bunch, but as presently constructed I don't see them besting [80-82] by much....some of the questions will probably resolve themselves positively and others negatively, so I see the Indians probably treading water in 2012.

Well...this now looks a bit like wishful thinking, given the actual end result. It wasn't all bad - the Wahoos were sitting at 44-41 at the All Star Break, and were very much in competition for the AL Central and the expanded Wild Cards. Then, the wheels just completely came the hell off, with the hapless Indians unraveling to the tune of 24-53 after the break. At one point, from July 27 through August 31, the Tribe was a preposterous 5-28. Yes, you read that right: 5-28. They went 13-17 the rest of the way out for a final record of 68-94, placing 4th in the division and greasing the skids for manager Manny Acta's exit.

I'm sorry to see Acta go, because I think he generaly did a good job and was a likeable personality, and I think stability can be a good thing for a team. On the plus side, being able to replace him with a top-flight manager like Terry Francona softens the blow a bit. Of course, and I can't stress this enough: the manager doesn't matter much in Major League Baseball.

Unlike the comically dramatic 2011 campaign, 2012 was pretty light on signature moments, at least the good ones. The opening series didn't portend well, as Chris Perez coughed up a three-run lead in the opener in a game the Indians eventually dropped in 16 innings. The next day, with my crew and I making our first appearance at Progressive Field on the year, the Indians lost another game in extras. At least I got to play like three hours of pop-a-shot against Canadians after that one.

The bulk of my excursions to Tribe games were less than thrilling this season - I missed a lot of time because I couldn't fit in a stadium seat for a while after each of my two knee surgeries, and was something like 2-8 at the park this season when I did make it. That mark included thrilling 8-1 and 9-0 losses at the hands of the hated White Socks. Blah. I actually can't remember seeing a win in person, now that you mention it. Hell, the Indians couldn't even be bothered to even reply to FCF's application for the Social Suite. That's lame.

But back to baseball. From a numbers standpoint, Shin-Soo Choo (OPS+ 131), Carlos Santana (121), Asdrubal Cabrera (115), and Michael Brantley (113) were the Indians' best offensive players, though Jason Kipnis (107) had a solid season and Travis Hafner (121) and Lonnie Chisenhall (108) contributed in limited appearances.

Finding positives among the pitching staff is more challenging - our six main starters posted ERA+ numbers of 79, 72, 92, 71, 61, and 65. Our best starter was Zach McAllister, and his ERA was 4.24. That's no kind of way to win ballgames. In case you were wondering, all five of the Nationals' chuckers had ERA's below four. I know it's the NL, but still. Closer Chris Perez was more erratic than in past seasons, though he did post a 3.59 ERA and saved 39/43 games. The Indians' two best relivers were Joe Smith (132) and Vinnie Pestano (152) - Pestano, in particular, was fantastic this season.

Despite a distinct lack of flash (and pitching), the Indians ended May at 24-17 just a game and a half back of the AL Central lead. That was fun. The rest of the season was: not fun. Part of this is because I was basically on hiatus this summer and didn't really document the Wahoos so much, but I honestly can't remember anything fun or good or exciting that happened during the second half of the year. You know what? Let's just pretend this year didn't happen and start looking forward. Agreed?

I like the off-season moves the Tribe has made so far - they got a solid return for Choo in Drew Stubbs and Trevor Bauer, and the Nick Swisher and Mark Reynolds signings really fill some needs for the club. Still, they seriously lack depth and quality in the rotation (unless Ubaldo Jimenez returns to form), and aren't exactly an offensive juggernaut just yet. Don't underestimate how bad the Indians were in 2011: this was a season where they scored fewer runs than every team except Seattle and gave up more runs than every team in the league.

The Indians look like they're a long way from being competitive, but hopefully they can at least start moving in the right direction. Go Tribe!


Browns
you'll be able to knock me over with a feather if they improve the talent (and coaching) enough to get above .500 next year.

Admittedly, I wasn't out on too far of a limb here predicting a sub-.500 season for the Cleveland Browns. I should say that my actual pick was 6-10, and if the Thaddeus Lewis Era kicks off the way I expect it to, we will see that lofty ambition realized this Sunday.

The narrative for the Browns' 2012 has been one of progress - sure, they haven't won a lot of games, but they've been in almost all of the ones they've played, they're young, the new guys like Weeden and Richardson are coming along, and the defense has stepped it up. It has certainly seemed like the team has been more watchable, less dire and hapless than the 2011 edition.

Unfortunately, they aren't really a whole lot better, other than collecting one or two more wins. Let's look at some summary statistics for the 2011 and 2012 Browns using pro-football-reference's Simple Rating System. The easiest way to think of SRS is as a point spread vs a league-average opponent on a neutral field; a perfectly average NFL team will score 0.0.

Overall SRS
2011: -5.4
2012: -4.9

Offensive SRS
2011: -7.2
2012: -4.4

Defensive SRS
2011: +1.8
2012: -0.6

According to SRS, the Browns have improved slightly - instead of getting 5.5 points from an average opponent, they now only get 5. Good times! On an SRS basis, the offense has improved about a field goal a game and, perhaps surprisingly, the defense has given that field goal back. Now, maybe this is because they actually are more competitive, and their opponents need to score more points to defeat them instead of rushing the ball for entire second halves and leaving with wins against the Browns without having to worry about scoring additional points. I'm not entirely sure how that can be untangled.

Last year, the Browns scored just 13.6 points per contest, 30th in the NFL, which was frankly awful and hard-to-watch. The defense was 5th in points allowed at 19.2 per, but as I suggested earlier, that might be tied in part to the offensive ineptitude. This year, they're scoring 19.5 per game (23rd) and allowing 22.9 (19th). Their point differential has improved from -5.6 a game (27th) to -3.5 per contest (23rd), which is a good trend, but along with SRS, suggests that the whole thing about them being more competitive has been overstated a bit.

The thing that concerns me most about the franchise going forward is, not surprisingly, the quarterback situation. Brandon Weeden has shown some promise in spots, but overall hasn't been a strong performer. Yes, he's a rookie, but so are Andrew Luck, Russell Wilson, Bobby Griff, and those guys have been pretty good this year, no? But perhaps the better comparison is to Colt McCoy's performance in 2011. Yes, McCoy was a second-year player in 2011, but it was his first full season behind center for the Browns, his 2010 and 2011 numbers are virtually identical, and he's still four years Weeden's junior, so the comparison is apt.

What we see is that, even with what seems to be a clearly superior set of complemetary pieces, from pleasant surprise Mitchell Schwartz bolstering the line, to speedsters Josh Gordon and Travis Benjamin, to wrecking ball Trent Richardson behind him, 2012 Weeden hasn't outperformed 2011 McCoy. Take a look:

McCoy 2011 (13 games): 210 ypg, 57.2 comp %, 14 TD, 11 INT, 74,6 passer rating, 40.1 QBR
Weeden 2012 (15 games): 226 ypg, 54.7 comp %, 14 TD, 17 INT, 72.6 passer rating, 26.6 QBR

If anything, I'd take 2011 McCoy, which isn't a very strong endorsement of Weeden's performance so far. I'm also slightly concerned about Richardson going forward - he's shown that he can ram ahead for three yards pretty much any time he wants, and has a real nose for the end zone, but he's broken very few runs past 10 yards this season, with a long of just 32. I don't want to take away from what he's done - 950 yards and 11 TD on the ground is nothing to sneeze at. Maybe it's injuries - we'll just have to see.

Phil Dawson is awesome.

What should we expect from the 2013 Browns? Well, we're going to suck again, I would imagine. For all the depth we've assembled, especially on the defensive line, we still don't have playmakers, and the organization will once again be in a state of flux as Jimmy Haslam and Joe Banner relieve Pat Shurmur (and probably Tom Heckert) of his duties and start rebuilding the organization their way.


Buckeyes
Optimism is high headed into the New Year for both the hoops and gridiron squads. The basketballers are loaded and should make some noise in the NCAA tournament, while the football team will benefit from Braxton Miller's development and the addition of a top-flight coach in Urban Meyer.

Well...yes.

The Buckeye basketballers posted a 31-8 record on the campaign, including a 13-5 mark good for a three-way tie with michigan and Michigan State atop the Big Ten standings, marking Ohio State's third straight season with at least a share of the Big 10 regular season hoops crown. It was a true tie, as OSU split their series with both rival schools from the state up north, and MSU and um did likewise, the home team winning all six contests. OSU was paced all season by two-time All-American Jared Sullinger, senior leader Willian Buford, and newcomers Deshaun Thomas and defensive ace Aaron Craft.

The Buckeyes entered the Big Ten tournament as the #3 seed thanks to a tiebreaker of them having the worst record of the three co-champions against 4th-place Wisconsin. Whatever. The two-time defending champion Buckeyess smashed their way into the finals, pulling away late for a convincing 88-71 win over Purdue and an absolute pummeling of the school up north, 77-55. Wow did I ever enjoy that game. OSU wasn't able to three-peat, unfortunately, as the Spartans toppled them 68-64 in a quality game.

The Buckeyes secured a #2 seed in the NCAA Tournament, their fourth straight bid, and dispatched Loyola (MD) and perennial bracket buster Gonzaga to reach their third straight Sweet Sixteen. Unlike the previous two seasons, the Buckeyes were not to be denied in the third round, ousting in-state rival Cincinnati and regional top seed Syracuse to reach the Final Four. The Buckeyes' title dreams ended with a hard-fought 64-62 loss to a tough Kansas team, a loss soothed someewhat by the knowledge that OSU probably would have gotten hammered by that ridiculous Kentucky team in the championship game.

So, although another strong Buckeye season ended in an NCAA Tourney defeat, it was a hell of a run. It was also much better than the run michigan had, where they were bounced (and confused by the Ohio Bobcats. Wow did I ever enjoy that game.

Facing a one-season bowl ban in the inaugural season of head coach Urban Meyer, the football Buckeyes knew they wouldn't suffer the same end as their basketball counterparts. So, they did what any self-respecting Renegade Buckeye squad would do - went out and won all 12 of their games. Done and done. Incidentally, the "Buckeyes" label will take you to all of Figgs' excellent game recaps here on the site.

After sleepwalking through a 4-0 non-conference start, the Bucks passed their first real test with a 17-16 win over Michigan State in East Lansing. They returned home and just firebombed Nebraska 63-38 before winning a surprisingly close 52-49 shootout over Indiana to move to 7-0.

Then came the craziest game of the year, an improbable 29-22 overtime win over unranked Purdue that needed the services of an insane last-minute rally drive engineer by backup QB Kenny Guiton. Not only did this contest keep OSU in the ranks of the unbeaten, it also broke a rather unfortunate string of losses Figgs and I had suffered watching Buckeye games together.

Wins over Penn state and Illinois moved Ohio State to 10-0, and a thrilling OT win over Wisconsin (in Madison) left them with just one game in their way to claim the undefeated mantle: michigan. There was no fucking way we were losing this game, and we didn't, winning 26-21 as can't-tie left The Game hungry for the 3rd time in 4 years. Good riddance, pal.

Oh, and OSU has Braxton Miller for the next two years. Can someone say "11 of 13"?


Cavs
Expectations are low, and I'm just going to sit back and enjoy the club. This season is really about Irving and Thompson, and seeing if one or two other guys emerge as potential contributors. They'll very likely be a lottery team again, and that's alright, but in the meantime I'll enjoy the action and bask in the wins when they do happen.

I haven't done a whole lot of the "bask"ing I talked about, as the Cavs have continued to limp along winning one out of four games or so while providing very little of the entertainment value that the 2010-11 club was so rich in, despite its poor record.

I was right about the season being about Kyrie Irving and Tristan Thompson, just as this season is again about that duo along with 2012 draft picks Dion Waiters and Tyler Zeller.

The good news is: Irving is a star, already among the top point guards in the NBA. Irving put up 18.5 points, 5.4 assists, and 3.7 rebounds a game in his rookie campaign, bumping those to 23.5/5.5/3.9 this season. His shooting percentages have stayed basically the same (47%/40%/87% a year ago, 47%/41%/80% this season). This is all on a team where he's not getting much support and has really no one else who can create shots. The only flaw in Irving's game is that he spends too many of them in streetclothes, missing 14 games a year ago and 10 so far this season.

Thompson, well, the jury is still out on this kid. He clearly has some athletic gifts, and is averaging just under 9 points and 9 rebounds a game this year...but that's not quite the value a club wants to see form the 4th overall pick. My concerns with him are that he doesn't seem to have the strongest grasp of how to play the game, and that at 59% from the line he's a liability late in games.

The other new fellows, #4 overall selection Dion Waiters and #17 pick Tyler Zeller, haven't quite set the world on fire yet. Zeller puts up 8 points and 5 boards a game but seems a bit overmatched at this early stage in his career. Waiters is scoring 14.6 a contest and makes some dazzling plays that bode well for his future, but doesn't have a complete, efficient game yet, connecting on just 37% of his attempts from the field and 33% of his threes.

As for the rest of the roster...there's Anderson Varejao, who is having by far his finest season at the age of 30 and is deserving of an all-star spot. Varejao is scoring 14.1 a game and pulling down an NBA-best 14.4 rebounds a contest. The guy is simply amazing. As with Irving, the only problem with Varejao's game at present is when he's not on the court to ply it.

After those five players, the Cavs roster is really, really shaky, with no one else who could even be a role player on a decent NBA team. Between the early development stage of the young players, injuries, and the total lack of bench depth, it's not hard to see why they're 7-24. It is hard to see, unfortunately. how to turn that mark around.


FCF Racing
Pro and college sports aside, there's the matter of FCF's participation in distance racing events, which has been off-and-on over the past few years. This season was again a mix of off and on, with the gang unable to get together for too much action.

On the good side was what Nick has modestly described as "The Rise of Allburn," as he got his career back on track by completing his first half-marathon and placing 4th overall in the Cleveland Triathlon. Nice work! I believe Figgs posted some career bests as well.

For me? Not so much. I did knock down the greatest game-winning shot I've ever seen, but http://forestcityfanatics.blogspot.com/2012/06/downtown-report-rehabbin-again.html injury problems kept me out of the game for most of the year. I'm unlikely to ever play basketball, softball, volleyball, or anything like that ever again.

I can run again, at least, and my athletics career might be back on track, but who knows. I managed to work in two so-so 5k's and a 10k before the year closed, so hopefully I can rejoin Team FCF for a successful 2013. Hopefully our teams do the same.


Thanks for reading anything any of us at FCF wrote in 2012, and here's to a prosperous new year in Ohio sports.

Progressive Field

The Tribe hasn't been so good lately, but this panorama of the ballpark is still pretty amazing.

The Indians through the 2000's

Ranking the best teams of the last decade for the Indians was probably a little more depressing than Figgs' OSU decade recap. Seriously, that was a good writeup and you should go read it again. The Indians did have a few good years last decade with 2001, 2005, and 2007 standing out specifically. 2001 and 2007 were, of course, the playoff years, while 2005 was the year where the Indians began competing again. However pretty much everything else was a letdown, with either talent wasting away on a horrible team or not playing to its potential.

The 2000's weren't quite as profitable, as the game's economic realities eventually caught up with Cleveland, and the Tribe became another small-market team trying to scratch out a living. They notched two more Central titles (2001, 2007) and came within a game of the '07 pennant, but it was not to be. Without further ado, let's rank the 10 Indians seasons of the 2000's:

1) 2007
96-66, Finished 1st in AL Central
Scored 811 runs, Allowed 704 runs. Pythagorean W-L: 91-71

Oh 2007. I’ve never experienced such a revelation about baseball as I did watching the 2007 Indians play. This team just knew how to win and did it with a balanced attack and the help of two pitchers who had very good years. C.C. and Carmona both had flat out ridiculous years. C.C. finished with a 19-7 record and 141 ERA+ and won the AL Cy Young, while Carmona posted a 19-8 record and a slightly better ERA+ of 148. Rafael Perez and Betancourt were amazing out of the 'pen, posting sub-two ERAs and 254 and 306 ERA+ respectively. Even the beginning of the Travis Hafner decline couldn’t derail pitching like that. The Tribe's "one through nine" approach to offense showed in that only Hafner (100) and Victor (114) had over 100 RBI for the season. A lot of credit is given to a 21 year-old Asdrubal Cabrera taking over second base for Josh Barfield, who was coming off a pretty good season for the San Diego Padres but struggled in a Tribe uniform. The Indians’ series against the Yankees in the playoffs might be one of my favorite baseball memories ever. Good thing I was too busy traveling for work to watch the series that followed that one.

2) 2001
91-71, Finished 1st in AL Central
Scored 897 runs, Allowed 821 runs. Pythagorean W-L: 88-74

AL Central champs. Now that’s more like it. At two games over the Pythagorean you can’t complain too much about Charlie Manuel and how his team "did good" this season. I often refer to this year as the year the Indians 90’s successes bought one more AL Central victory. Sandy Alomar: gone. Manny Ramirez: gone. Richie Sexson: gone. OK, that last one was a joke, but the Indians did pay Juan Gonzalez $10 million for a single season of service (but I have a feeling he might show up again.) Did Juan deliver? You bet he did, to the tune of 140 OPS+ and 140 RBI. Of course Jim Thome had a 170 OPS+ and Robby Alomar wasn’t too shabby either at 150 OPS+. Pitching-wise, a guy named C.C. Sabathia had a 17-5 rookie year, but after him and Colon the team of Burba, Finely and Charles Nagy might sound good but this is 2001 Nagy we are talking about. Not that you were concerned, but 2001 saw the Indians season end with a 3-2 loss to the Mariners in the AL Division Series.

3) 2005
93-69, Finished 2nd in AL Central
Scored 790 runs, Allowed 642 runs. Pythagorean W-L: 96-66

2005 was the real target contending date following the 2002 sell-off. Three years isn’t so bad, and look: the Indians finished 93-69. However, they still landed three games short of their Pythagorean expectation, which isn’t good. Two highlights on the offensive side of the ball marked the '06 campaign. Remember when Juan Gonzalez, at age 35, was slated as a starter? Yeahm one at-bat later and Grady Sizemore is our man in center field, where he still resides. The other big surprise was Jhonny Peralta’s career-high 137 OPS+. Sure, Victor and Hafner did well too, but 2005 is the year of Peralta and Sizemore. Pitching-wise, Cliff Lee’s 18-5 was pretty much the only good pitching story, until you remember that this was also that one year Kevin Millwood pitched for the Indians. Yes, Kevin Millwood had a 145 ERA+ and led the league with a 2.86 ERA. Unfortunately, the Indians weren’t helping him out much, and so he was left with a 9-11 record. Kevin must have liked not winning since he signed with the Rangers. Not too bad a year if you forgot the White Sox won 99 games this year and won the World Series which is forever immortalized on the back of my wife’s car.

4) 2000
90-72, Finished 2nd in AL Central
Scored 950 runs, Allowed 816 runs. Pythagorean W-L: 92-70

Despite finishing nine games above a .500 finish, the Indians were still a solid five games behind the evil Chicago black socks in 2000. The top two OPS+ guys that year were Jim Thome with a 132 and Manny Ramirez with a staggering 186. So what went wrong? Well, with a Pythagorean record that would only boost the club's record by two wins, not much really. Having Jolbert Cabrera appear in a hundred games probably didn’t help but he only had 187 AB. This is 2000 so if my nineties history serves me well maybe we should examine pitching. It appears that Steve Woodard had to start 11 games - that’s probably not good. This is a team that helped Dave Burba to a 16-6 record, despite a 4.47 ERA but a 110 ERA+. I think the problem was probably a) a very good Chicago team and b) after Chuck Finley, Burba, and Bartolo Colon the Indians didn’t have a number four or five starter to carry them past 90 wins.

5) 2008
81-81, Finished 3rd in AL Central
Scored 805 runs, Allowed 761 runs. Pythagorean W-L: 85-77

Coming off the highly successful 2007 season, I don’t think hopes could have been higher for the 2008 club. Offensively, this year was lowlighted by the complete collapse of Travis Hafner (.194 average) and Victor only playing 74 games. Grady was as good as he ever was with a career high 33 home runs, but even he can’t make up for what the Indians lost. Shin-Soo Choo and Kelly Shoppach did their best and the Indians did pull off a pretty good second half. However pitching-wise we’ve got another story to tell. C.C. got off to a slow start and was eventually traded to Milwaukee where he was as impressive as ever. Somehow Cliff Lee become the 2008 AL Cy Young winner with an amazing 22-3 record and a 2.54 ERA. Unfortunately Cliff represents too large a percentage of the Indians’ overall wins. Only Scott Lewis (4-0), Anthony Reyes (2-1), and Carmona (8-7) posted winning records other than Lee. Hell even Bryan Bullington was allowed to start two games for this team. The bullpen was a mess and I think I’m going to leave it at that.

6) 2004
80-82, Finished 3rd in AL Central
Scored 858 runs, Allowed 857 runs. Pythagorean W-L: 81-81

We have reached the middle years which can only mean one thing. Good Travis Hafner equals bad Indians team. To be fair, two games under five hundred is not too bad for a team that allows Scott Elarton to start 21 games. The offense was solid with names that evoke such Indians memories like Belliard (always playing a shallow right field position), Broussard (streaky but good), and Lawton (hey he finally had an OK year). Cliff Lee had a breakout season going 14-8 and Jake Westbrook went 14-9. Overall it was a nice year to feel good about. If memory serves me right this was the target year that “the Indians were going to start contending again” after the rebuilding phase.

7) 2002
74-88, Finished 3rd in AL Central
Scored 739 runs, Allowed 837 runs. Pythagorean W-L: 72-90

Hey we’re rebuilding! 2002 saw the famous Colon for Lee Stevens trade that had a few other guys attached. The good news is that trade eventually turned out well. We also get two mangers this year: Charlie Manuel (39-47) and Joel Skinner (35-41). Jim Thome put up a club-best 197 OPS+ (can someone say contract year), with Ellis Burks second best at 139. John McDonald saw action in 93 games. The real highlight probably was Karim Garcia registering 52 RBI in only 51 games. Pitching-wise, C.C. did OK with a 13-11 record. Paul Shuey pretty much was this team’s bullpen going 3-0 with a 2.41 ERA and a 182 ERA+ and that’s why we traded him to the Dodgers for Francisco Cruceta, Terry Mulholland and Ricardo Rodriguez. I always liked Ryan Drese despite his 67 ERA+ for 2002. Finally, Chris Magruder getting 258 AB is too many for any team above AAA.

8) 2006
78-84, Finished 4th in AL Central
Scored 870 runs, Allowed 782 runs. Pythagorean W-L: 89-73

One step forward and two back. After posting a 93-69 record in '05 you had to be expecting good things from the Tribe in '06. Unfortunately, the Indians decided to end the year in 4th in the AL - thank god for those hapless Royals. A 29 year-old Travis Hafner put up a 181 ERA+, Grady played all 162 games, and Aaron Boone decided to suck. Fausto Carmona finishing with a 1-10 record for the year might be an indicator of some of what went wrong in '06. The '06 Tribe was simply too thin in pitching, particularly out of the bullpen, though four out of the five starters posted winning records, barely. Westbrook 15-10, C.C. 12-11, Lee 14-11, The Cobra 10-9 and actually in 14 games started Sowers posted a 7-4 and 125 ERA+. You might be wondering why 2006 is so low on my list. Eleven games under Pythagorean should be all I have to say.

9) 2003
68-94, Finished 4th in AL Central
Scored 699 runs, Allowed 778 runs. Pythagorean W-L: 73-89

2003 was the first season of recently-departed manager Eric Wedge. Five games under Pythagorean might be what should be expected from a rookie skipper. Some dude named Milton Bradley lead the team with a 147 OPS+ and some guy named Brandon Phillips had a 48 OPS+ after 370 at bats. Ellis Burks was still on the team? David Riske had a ERA+ of 192, wow. Anyway 2003 is a lost year forget about it, never happened.

2009
65-97, 4th place in AL Central
Scored 773 runs, Allowed 865 runs. Pythagorean W-L: 73-89

In 2009 the Indians became part of baseball trivia when the two pitchers who had won the previous two AL Cy Young awards faced off in the first game for the World Series. Obviously not with the team with which they won those awards. If you thought pitching was tough to come by in 2008, the 2009 squad gave up over a 100 more runs and scored 32 fewer runs. So yeah a worse record was in order. Cliff Lee was traded because, well, we didn’t need him to finish third or fourth in the AL Central. Offensively Hafner made a comeback but still only played 94 games. Victor also didn’t make it above 100 games because . . . he too was traded. Hell this is pretty much the dregs. I fully expect the Indians to be better in 2010. . . I have to.

Wild-card wouldas

As you may know, Major League Baseball has added a second Wild Card for both the AL and NL this year, expanding the post-season field from 8 to 10 teams. Like any such change, the move has its proponents and its detractors. Some like the challenge of qualifying for the postseason in a sport where fewer teams make it; others like the notion of keeping more teams in a pennant chase deep into the summer.

I don't have a strong opinion either way on this matter. The first Wild Card was and remains a smashing success for the game - anyone who argues otherwise now is delusional. But I think maybe it was an appropriate place to stop - few baseball fans want the game to turn into basketball or hockey, where half (or more) of the clubs qualify for the playoffs. I'm not saying those models don't work for those games - the NHL and NBA playoffs are tremendous - just that there's a reason why baseball has a 162-game schedule. On the other hand, as a fan of the small-market Cleveland Indians, I recognize that the change is much more likely to benefit my club as an underdog sneaking in than it is to hurt them as a titan being upended by the fifth AL team sneaking in.

Some have suggested that the rich teams are more likely to snap up the extra postseason berths, and that may be true, but I thought hey, just for fun, let's see who would have grabbed the second extra slot in each league since the 1994 realignment.


Editor's note: I have the leagues backwards in 1996 and don't feel like going back and revising it.

It's actually not a bad variety of teams, not dominated too heavily by any one club. In the AL, over these 17 seasons, 11 teams (of the AL's 14) would have qualified in years they otherwise did not (yes, I know things might have played out differently had the second Wild Card actually been in place). Only the Royals, Rays, and Orioles wouldn't have been helped out. Mariners fans might have seen postseason baseball in as many as four additional seasons, and our Tribe would have qualified in both 2000 and 2005.

Recently, though, the economics of the AL have started to shine through, as the huge-spending Yankees, Red Socks, and Rangers would have gobbled up the past four extra slots in addition to the tournament spots they already monopolized during that time. Prior to that, though, three straight AL Central teams laid claim to the bonus Wild Card.

Although the AL is regarded as more of a financial and on-field hegemony than the Senior Circuit, only 9 of the NL's 16 teams would have benefitted from this year's rules change. The Cardinals, Pirates, Rockies, Diamondbacks, Cubs, Marlins, and Brewers would have all failed to slip in that final spot, though all of them (except of course the Pirates) have appeared in postseason play over the past decade.

I'm sure the game will be fine either way - the second Wild Card isn't necessary and is a pretty obvious TV grab, but perhaps it will make for some additional compelling hardball. Looking back on past data, it seems that the extra playoff slot was well-distributed in each league, but unfortunately also shows that the rule would lately have been a rich-get-richer scenario and robbed decent fans of the joy of the years when Boston and New York stayed home for October.

What if the Indians stopped running these stupid commercials?

I hate the "What If" campaign. Sorry, Indians organization, I'm still as much a fan as ever, but these ads have spiraled out of control and are starting to encroach on my enjoyment of your radio broadcasts. I know I'm being a spoilsport here, but hear me out.

At first, when they premiered last year, the ads made sense. They spoke to a certain sense around the surprising club - what if everything came together, what if this ragtag club went the Major League route and crashed the playoffs? It was genuinely inspiring.

Now it's confusing and weird, like how the Carfox from the Carfax commercials went from the puppet the salesman used to divert attention from a Carfax request to suddenly and inexplicably being their spokesperson. Now all the "What if" questions (backed by music more creepy than spine-tingling) are either hypotheticals or questions whose answers are unimportant.

What if this were your house?
Progressive Field, that is. Seems like an odd place to live, but if you mean it in the sense of it being your club's home field...well, it is our house. Where is the hypothetical to be considered.

What if you could be here?
I can, I go to games all the time. I really, really don't get it.

...or here
What if you stopped airing these commercials?

What if you could show your pride
YOU CAN SHOW YOUR PRIDE! No 'what if'! People wear jerseys and hats and pins and all sorts of pride-showing things. This isn't a what if. This has nothing to do with the original intent of the campaign

and scream and cheer
You can absolutely, 100% do these things. "What if you could breathe...what if you could eat food at a game..."

What if it was your passion that brought them home
???

What if this was the house that you built?
Are you referring to the tax that funded Gateway? If so, then again, I'm sorry, not a hypothetical. End this.

Tribe Trivia Round 7: Final

As part of the annual Tribe Weekend festivities, I constructed an Indians-themed trivia game and decided to post it here on FCF just for fun. Here's the final round: nine general Indians questions and one final seven-point question. I hate quiz games that have everything riding on one arbitrarily-weighted final question (yes, Jeopardy!, I know it's better for TV that way, but it's a terrible way to decide a winner) so this game has no such thing.

Answers can be found here. Take your best guess first!

Good luck, and no Googling!

1) What rank does Wahoo hold?

2) What was the most recent Indians minor-league affiliate to win a league championship?

3) What number does Jack Hannahan wear?

4) Who owns the Indians in Major League?

5) Where is the Spring Training home of the Indians?

6) How many home runs did Duane Kuiper hit in his 3754 career plate appearances?

7) Who is the Indians' third-base coach?

8) Progressive Field's address is at 2401 _________? (State, City, and zip not necessary)

9) Amuse me with something Indians-related.

10) Name the seven years the Indians have claimed AL Central championships.

Downtown Report, Rehabbin' Again

Well, here I am, sitting on my couch, recovering from an arthroscopic knee surgery.

Again.

The first one didn't quite take, despite a once-promising rehab, so I had to get some more "work" done on the old knee. Non-invasive as they've gotten this game to be over the years, I still have to park it for a few days, so here I am with some time to bang out some commentary about our favorite clubs.


Tribe
I've spent more time on the DL this summer than Travis Hafner!

No good? How about: I've spent more time on the DL this summer than Grady Sizemore!

Enough injury jokes - even without the services of their two one-time stars for most (if not all) of the campaign so far, the Tribe has managed to claw its way to a 37-32 mark and first place in the AL Central, with more than 40% of the season in the books. This, despite some team numbers suggesting that the Indians are really, really fortunate to be where they are:

- Run differential of -27 (13th of the 14 AL teams, only bettering abysmal Minnesota)
- SRS of -0.3 (again, 13th/14 clubs - Minnesota is awful)
- Pythagorean W-L of 32-37 (an actual mark which would drop them to 12th in the AL in W-L)

Fun fact on the run differential stat: every AL East team is in the positive, three of four AL West teams are >0 ... and then only one AL Central club (the White Socks) have scored more than they've allowed. The Indians owe a good of part of their first-place status to the underperforming white socks (only 2 games up on .500 despite a +33 differential) and the surprisingly mediocre Detroit Tigers. This division is there to be run away with...and no one has bothered to do so thus far.

A fair question to ask is just how the Tribe has managed this feat. As a team, the Wahoos haven't been too bad at the plate. Their team OPS+ is 101, and they've scored 4.38 runs a game, 6th in the American League and just under the league average of 4.44. They've been paced by Asdrubal Cabrera, the team's MVP so far in my view (and who just now hit a HR as I typed this) who owns an OPS+ value of 145 from the shortstop position. His infield partner Jason Kipnis has shined as well, posting a 114 OPS+ number. Even Shin-Soo Choo has had a resurgence, upping his on-base (.365 from .344) and power (slugging at .444 from .390) numbers from a year ago and giving the Tribe good production from the leadoff spot.

The Captain Jack/Chisenhall tandem has been decent at 3B (OPS+ 0f 105), while Carlos Santana (100) and Michael Brantley (100) have been good as well, though in the backstop's case I think we all expect more. Santana's OBP has held steady at .350, where it was a year ago, but his power has fallen considerably, with his SLG dropping from .457 last year to .354 this year. This confirms what I think we all see when we see Santana approach the plate: a guy who doesn't really seem like a threat to crush one anymore. Let's hope this shift reverses itself.

Brantley, on the other hand, has recovered from a slow start, boosting his on-base to .320 (and posting a SLG of .392 that trails only Cabrera, Hafner, Kipnis, and Choo) and continuing to play a solid CF. You'd like to see him walk more, but his progress this year has been notable. On the topic of those walks, here are the walk percentages for Indians hitters this year:

Santana: 16.1%
Hafner: 15.7%
Lopez: 14.8%
Left fielders Duncan + Damon: 12.0%
Cabrera: 11.1%
Choo: 10.2%
Hannahan: 9:8%
Kipnis: 7.3%
Kotchman: 6.7%
Brantley: 5.3%
Chisenhall (just for fun): 1.6%

My point is that, to really join the ranks of the Indians' top players, Brantley needs to "put the ball in play" a little less and be a tad more selective. In that department, unlike the others, we're not yet seeing upward movement from past years.

Oh, and I don't feel like talking too much about our "production" from LF or 1B. So let's get to the pitching.

It's no surprise to people who have followed the Indians thus far this season that the pitching staff, especially the starters, has been the team's weak point. With a club ERA of 4.44, the Indians rank next-to-last in the AL (surprise! the Twins are dead last) and have put up a dismal ERA+ of 86. A lot of the "credit" goes to the Indians' woeful starting staff:

Masterson 96
Lowe 89
Jimenez 83
Gomez 77
Tomlin 75

With not one starting pitcher even above league average in ERA, it really is a miracle that the Indians still find themselves atop the division. This is remarkable, and I would have to say unsustainable through a full year. Someone - and Masterson and Jimenez have shown flashes recently - needs to step up and start giving Cleveland quality starts, or this first-place adventure will start to crash and burn.

The reason why the Indians have won so many games with so-so hitting and poor starting pitching? Mr Vinnie Pestano and Mr Chris Perez. Pestano has been absolutely lights-out, dominating the 8th inning with an ERA+ of 208 and striking out almost 11 men per 9 innings. Perez has been almost as good, posting 23 consecutive saves since blowing one on Opening Day and striking out almost exactly one batter an inning, a rate improved by 50% from last year.

Simply put, the Indians have been able to score enough to get leads through 7 innings despite weak starting pitching...and just haven't lost those games, ever. Eventually they'll drop a few close ones, and will need their starters to come through (and to get some production from 1B and LF) to balance things out. Go Tribe!


Cavs
I'll defer to my colleague Doug on the CaVs, as he's promised some basketball comments in the upcoming days. I will offer a few thoughts on the NBA Finals, though.

Someone asked me prior to the series who I thought was a better player: James or Kevin Durant. I just sort-of laughed. James is a better player than everybody right now, and by a lot. He's historically good. There is no stopping him. Durant can fill it up, and Derrick Rose does tremendous things in Chicago, but no one has the all-around game and complete package like #6 does at this moment.

And with his first NBA title, he's achieved, at 27, everything significant in the basketball universe. Rookie of the Year. Six-time first-team All-NBA. Four-time first-team All-NBA Defensive Team. Scoring champion. Three-time NBA MVP. Finals MVP. NBA Champion. There isn't anything left to check off. Oh, and he'll be the best player in the world for a few more years, at least - his incredible run in these playoffs hinted at that.

And I've softened a bit on #6, because I really think he developed as a person and player this year. He doesn't appear outwardly to be nearly as much of a douche, seems to genuinely feel remorse about the way he stiffed Cleveland, and has a renewed focus and approach to team play. He simply isn't as villainous anymore.

All that having been said, it's not like I have any intention of rooting for the guy. The fact remains that he quit on and then sold out the Cavaliers (both in the '10 playoffs and in taking so long before The Decision), and then constructed the awful-to-watch Heat so he could play in front of a bunch of non-fans in Miami. And then he won everything, the latest chapter in Cleveland's unfortunate sports history. It's a tough hand for Cavaliers fans to be dealt, but at this point what can you do? I still don't want him to win - I want the Cavs to win - and I still hope this remains his only title because there are far worthier players who haven't crippled my favorite franchise who I can root for in the NBA.

But I have a sinking feeling he isn't done yet.


Browns
I gotta tell you, football is pretty far off my radar at the moment.

I know a lot of sports fans like to follow the Buckeyes' spring practices and the Browns' OTAs...but I can't feign a lot of excitement for those warmup practices. The lack of meaningful football activities in the spring and summer means we're treated to non-stories like the Jim Brown/Trent Richardson press sniping (Brown, apparently, felt that he hadn't been a douche in pubilc recently), and that's as uninteresting to me as the Jerry Sandusky, car racing, and golf headlines I see on ESPN each day. This lull between the end of the winter sports and the start of the fall ones is a slow time of year.

There seems to be an undercurrent of optimism around the Browns this year...and I'm still worried about them. They had a serious shortage of talent the past four years, posting a pair of 4-12 marks and two 5-11 campaigns, and they're starting 2012 with a rookie quarterback at the helm. Sigh.

The Renegade Buckeyes could be something interesting, though. Hoepfully we'll hear more about them from Figgs as the season approaches. It's been a year and a half since we beat michigan, and I'm ready to get back in that win column.

Tribe Trivia Round 6: Potent Potables

As part of the annual Tribe Weekend festivities, I constructed an Indians-themed trivia game and decided to post it here on FCF just for fun.

Answers can be found here. Take your best guess first!

I know I didn't post a Round 5 - during the competition, it was in fact the Music Round. Last year's songs were all Cleveland sports- and Indians-related, but frankly I ran out of those, so this year's edition was all Ohio bands. One player jokingly accused me of culturally-biasing the music round, and so perhaps I did, but I didn't feel like shelling out $1.29 for "Tha Crossroads." The tunes I played snippets from were( see if you can guess the band):

"Lonely Boy"
"My City Was Gone"
"Cannonball"
"The Beautiful People"
"Funk #49"
"Maps"
"Whip It"

Round 6 was, in best Celebrity Jeopardy! tradition, the "Potent Potables" round. Good luck to you all:

1) How big is the biggest unit of beer one can buy at Progressive Field this year?

2) What product's advertisement on the LF scoreboard did Mark McGwire memorably tag with a 1997 home run estimated at 523 feet?

3) Whose "Honey Brown" is available at Progressive Field this year?

4) What local brewer (other than Great Lakes)'s wares are available at the ballpark?

5) What beer did Major League star Bob Uecker shill for back in the '80's?

Tribe Trivia Round 4: From the Archives

As part of the annual Tribe Weekend festivities, I constructed an Indians-themed trivia game and decided to post it here on FCF just for fun. Here's round four, which I called "From the Archives," as it deals with some less-than-recent Tribe history. Good luck, and no Googling!

Answers can be found here. Take your best guess first!

1) What Indians player recorded an unassisted triple play in the club's first World Series? (Bonus for correct spelling).

2) Who preceded Mike Hargrove as Tribe manager?

3) What former Indian broke the color barrier in the American League?

4) What two years were the Indians World Series Champions? (1 point for each)

5) Who was the last primarily knuckleball starter to pitch for Cleveland?

6) Who was the last Indian to be named league MVP?

7) For how long did the Indians' longest pennant drought last?

8) Where did the Wahoos call home before Municipal Stadium?

9) What was the Akron Aeros franchise called from 1989-1996?

10) Name as many of the Indians' six AL batting champions as you can (six names only).

Tribe Trivia Round 3: 2012

As part of the annual Tribe Weekend festivities, I constructed an Indians-themed trivia game and decided to post it here on FCF just for fun. Here's round three, all about the Wahoos' 2012 campaign.

Answers can be found here. Take your best guess first!

1) What Tribe reliever struck out a batter in each of his first 21 appearances this season?

2) Among the 14 AL teams, where do the Indians rank in attendance?

3) What is the former Fausto Carmona's real name?

4 )Which Indians regular currently sports the highest OBP (fyi Travis Hafner does not have enough plate appearances)?

5) Who leads the club in both HR and RBI?

6) Which Indians starter leads the club in ERA (Hint: it's not Ubaldo Jimenez)?

7) Two Indian position players put up OPS+ values of 4 in limited duty this year. Name them (1 point each)

8) What is the Indians' record?

9) Which two players have walk-off hits for the Indians in 2012? (1 point each)

10) Do the Detroit Tigers and Chicago White Sox suck?

Tribe Trivia Round 2: Photos

As part of the annual Tribe Weekend festivities, I constructed an Indians-themed trivia game and decided to post it here on FCF just for fun. Here's round two, the photo round (click to enlarge).

Answers can be found here. Take your best guess first!

Tribe Trivia Round 1: General

As part of the annual Tribe Weekend festivities, I constructed a trivia game, and since there's not much else going on these days with the Tribe slumping and everyone else in off-season, I thought I'd roll out the questions this week just for fun. Here's round one, a General category. No Googling!

Answers can be found here. Take your best guess first!

1) Who hit the home run off of Jose Canseco's head in 1993? (Bonus: what word does Canseco end many of his tweets with)?

2) For what university does Tom Hamilton's son, Nick, play baseball?

3) What color did the Indians phase out of their uniforms in the 2000's?

4) Who is the Tribe fan who has been pummeling his bass drum at games since 1973?

5) Who won the 1995 AL MVP in a criminally unfair vote over Albert Belle?

6) Which of the 8 primary compass directions does a ball struck to CF in Progressive Field travel?

7) Who holds the Tribe's single-season mark for home runs, with 52?

8) What is the name of the Indians' Class-A affiliate in Carolina?

9) What is the Indians-Reds season series nicknamed?

10) Who is the Indians' General Manager?

Downtown Report while affixed firmly to my Downtown Couch

You cannot imagine the size of the bandage on my knee right now.

It has roughly the same girth as a sequoia, and extends all the way from the bases of my toes up 2/3 of the way to my waist from the knee. It is MASSIVE. I find this at least slightly odd inasmuch as all I had were two small 1-cm incisions on my knee. You cannot possibly justify this ridiculous thing covering my foot, and as soon as someone shows up here who can reach said foot more easily than I can, such justification will no longer be necessary. (Editor's note: took care of this myself after writing the Tribe portion of this post. So much better.) The whole damn thing is supposed to stay on until Sunday evening...we'll see.

The take-home message is that FCF Racing is having a temporary setback, but I'm fully expecting to rock and roll before too long. I did a triathlon 72 days after a similar procedure on my opposite knee three years ago and started wrecking PR's all over the place - I'm already walking better today than I was back then, so there's cause for optimism.

So that's me. How about our favorite Ohio teams?


Tribe
Fellas, really, as long as you need to stay on the road, by all means do so. Progressive Field wasn't too hospitable for the Tribe's opening series (series'? serieses?) against the Blue Jays and White Sox, as they couldn't hit their way out of a sack lunch (don't you want to know how they got in that sack?) and stumbled to a 1-4 mark.

FCF, for our part, represented with a 14-man crew at Game #2, the second straight extra-inning loss to the Azulejos. But whatevs - the real fireworks came postgame at the Clevelander, where we became embroiled in some hardcore contests of Pop-a-Shot against these asshole Blue Jay fans. I'm kidding, the BJ fans were really nice dudes, as Canadians typically are, and we enjoyed drinking American-style lager beer with them and wished them well against the far more nefarious yankees and red sox this season. They had good things to say about their annual visits to Cleveland, reinforcing my view that everyone who visits here likes it.

Cordiality and the world's longest peaceful border didn't stop me from looting their pockets, though - we all put $1 bills on the metal fence surrounding the hoop and I took home as many as seven extremely wrinkly bills after telling the Canucks in no uncertain terms that I would not tolerate them posting their silly "dollar" coins as collateral. Nick in particular ended up developing some real consistency by the end of our marathon shot-chucking session, routinely posting scores in the high 50's and low 60's. Then we repaired to my bungalow where I just straight wrecked shit at mini-cornhole.

After a chilly, abbreviated set against the ChiSox that I have completely erased from my memory (something I have not erased from my memory: the fact that they once lost the World Series on purpose) the Wahoos headed west, to which I say: Thank goodness for the Kansas City Royals! The Tribe rolled into Missouri last weekend and flat laid the lumber to the Reales, piling up 32 runs in sweeping a three-game set against the perennially awful Royals. They actually have some solid players on that team, and I think they'll score some runs, but oh that pitching staff. The offensive explosion for the Indians prompted all sorts of Media Guide reading, but I'll just go with this:

Runs per 9 at Progressive Field: 3.3
Runs per 9 at Kaufmann Stadium: 10.3

So there you have it. The Indians are now 2nd in the AL in runs per game, trailing only the juggernaut that is the Texas Rangers. I'm already feeling nauseous thinking about having to play them.

Can I interest you in my favorite Tom Hamilton moment of the weekend? Late in the Sunday game, a Royal hit a sharp ground ball that bounced off of 1B Casey Kotchman's glove and into right field. By Hamilton's description, it was pretty clearly a double, but the homer Royal scorer awarded the batter a double, much to Hamilton's bemusement. (By the way, what's the deal with scorers always fudging decisions to help the home club's stats? Why are we OK with this?) Later in the inning, with the Tribe comfortably on top, a Royal took second on Defensive Indifference; Hamilton opined that it would be DI, "although with the scorer here, he might end up with three stolen bases."

Regarding the beanball situation from the Saturday game...Nick correctly pointed out that Gomez could have waited longer to settle the score after KC pegged Choo, but the bullpen could have at least sort of stepped up once he exited. I'll give Gomez credit for throwing an appropriate retaliation ball - he didn't headhunt, just hit the guy in the butt where injury risk is minimal and let's move along. In fact, baseball's idiotic "warn both benches" rule made the whole situation much worse than it needed to be. Leave the players to their own devices, and Gomez's pitch ends everything and we get on with our lives. And the suspension MLB handed down to Jeanmar was totally lame.

As was the absurd $750 fine levied on Chris Perez for his relatively innocuous post-game twitter:

Huge team win tonight; time for a sweep to tell the Royals it's not 'Our Time', it's #TribeTime. P.S. You hit us, we hit you. Period.

MLB handed down the fine and admonished Perez for having "demonstrated a reckless disregard for the safety of the players on both clubs," a claim with no connection whatsoever to reality.

Cleveland kept things rolling in Seattle, rallying from a seven-run deficit to topple Los Marineros in Game 1, getting handled by Kel Varnsen and the M's in the middle game, and guaranteeing a winning roadie by stealing a rare win from Seattle in a game started by F-Her, thanks to Captain Jack's ninth-inning heroics. All of a sudden, you grab a couple of games in Oaktown behind Ubaldo, Masterpiece, and Gomez, and you're headed home with a 7-2 voyage in hand. Let's go get it.

It's way too early in the season to take anything meaningful away from the Indians' individual statistics...and that's why it's going to be fun to do just that.

- Shelley Duncan's OBP is .444. I joked on twitter a few days ago when it was .485 that it looked very much sustainable to me...and then he went out and pushed it above .500 for a day! I'd take .350 from Shelton, personally.

- Hafner is sitting at .314/.415/.542 (OPS+ 167). Keep those fingers crossed.

- Carlos Santana in 2011: .239/.351/.457. Currently: .256/.408/.539. I think this kid will be OK.

- Shin-Soo Choo is getting on base (.389) but not doing much else. I, for one, am ready for the old Choo to come back.

- Kipnis (76), Brantley (74), Kotchman (56) - season already started, guys.

- Starters' ERA: 4.68.
Relivers' ERA: 4.98

Justin Masterson has struggled early in ballgames and Tony Sipp just hasn't gotten anyone out, but they both have quality track records so I'm not as worried about our staff (11th/14 in the AL in ERA curently) as I might otherwise be. Go Tribe!


Cavs
Whew. This is NOT a good team. Injuries, particularly to their two best players (Kyrie Irving and Anderson Varejão), have just crushed this team, as they have put together a 4-18 stretch of basketball to plummet from a season-high 16-23 to their current 20-41. But hey, they've dropped to the 5th-worst record in basketball, so bring on those ping-pong balls!

I am a little worried, however, at how non-competitive even a short-handed team like this has become, a situation epitomized by the comical 116-77 pasting handed them by the sub-mediocre Detroit Pistons earlier this week, a game in which Los Caballeros trailed 100-50 at one point. Yikes. Antawn Jamison posted a -47 for the game, which is (a) the worst single-game +/- in the NBA this year, (b) almost theoretically impossible, and (c) the only thing keeping Donald Sloan (-46 in the same game) from holding that mark.

I went to the game Wednesday with a buddy, and it was not a pretty thing. The game went from a 57-all tie to a 22-point deficit in 5:21 of game time, and for a fan a few Smithwicks deep into the evening, it felt like about 1:00. We decided to bolt shortly thereafter when I saw the Penguins (facing elimination from the hated Flyers) were up 4-3; they'd pushed the advantage to 7-3 by the time I made the 15-minute walk back to my home bar. Sweet. Not to make this entire post about my prowess at meaningless bar games, but I did claim my third straight punching game victory with a closely-contested victory over Bucko. I know he'll be back, though, and I'll be ready.


Jammin' Jalapenos

In the interest of providing some more positive basketball-related notes, can I interest you in a recap of the single most exciting basketball game I've ever seen, let alone played in? Great. As you see from the photo from right, my team is indeed the Jammin' Jalapeños, and we are named after a BW3 hot sauce. A coworker of mine from South Africa was visiting and we went out to trivia night at BW3 and he ordered said sauce for his wings. My team's captain, Fanuc, was registering our club via smartphone, needed a name, and I saw the hot sauce and presto, we're the Jammin' Jalapeños. None of us can dunk.

Now, about this game. We were already in the Elimination Bracket (aka the Loser's Bracket) of a double-elimination tourney, so you win or you're out, it's that simple. We were playing the Ballers, a team who, how shall I say this, I do not like. They had five players, three of whom were ringers - we had seven but were without a key guy as well. I got the pleasure of guarding this douchebag kid with semi-spiky hair - what a treat. You know how when people have amputations they experience "phantom pain" from the missing part even though it isn't there? Well I sometimes still feel him grabbing my jersey. So much jersey-grabbing. But onto the game...

We started pretty slow - as usual, we started in a 3-2 zone, found out that it wasn't working, and had better success when we switched to man-on-man defense. No one on our team really knows why we don't just start in man. Anyway, we were behind 10 before I even entered the game, but we closed to within 5 at the half and felt lucky to be there.

We scored the first 7 of the second (with me on the bench) to take our first lead, and it was back and forth from there. We kept a slim advantage into the late stages of the game - they were fouling when the clock got below 90 seconds, and we were struggling from the line (I was a mediocre 3-6 myself). Up by two with 20 seconds left, I got fouled and split a pair, so we're up 55-52. Come on, Francis, lock it down. In my defense, spiky-haired douche was clapping at me obnoxiously as I shot, which is supposed to be a lane violation but legality aside, is so incredibly bush league that I'm almost out of words to describe it.

The Ballers then take posession, down by three with 20 seconds on the clock...the longest 20 seconds of basketball I've ever experienced. It was very much Cavs-Pistons in Game 6 in 2006 - a flurry of shots, scrambles for loose balls, and such, and this time their best guy somehow got free with the ball. I was on the weak side and could see both him and the clock in my field of vision. He got it off with 0.4 on the clock...nothing but net, overtime. Ugh. You have to appreciate how deflating this is for a team that close to victory, to have to regroup and drag yourself back on the court for a game you already should have won.

The game played along those same lines in OT, with the Jalapeños struggling from the line, but still maintaining a narrow lead. We're up by two (again) and they have the ball (again) with limited time. One of the Ballers launches a three from straight on at the top of the key, BANKS it in, and we're down 62-61. You have got to be kidding me. We called a quick a timeout to figure out what to do with our last 2.9 seconds.

It's worth pointing out here, in case I haven't already, that this kid I was guarding was not an individual with whom I wish to spend much additional time.

One of our players draws up this awful play where Fanuc takes the ball at the baseline (yes, we still have to go the whole length of the court - it's not NBA rules), baseball-passes it to our tallest player Neal, near center court, and has a couple of other guys streak by our center to get a quick pass from him and put up a shot. I'm not in love with the plan, but it's reasonable considering our limited time.

I line up about halfway between the inbounds and halfcourt, in case Fanuc can't get it to center court and so I can start my attack run, and he indeed chucks it to midcourt. Our lanky big man Neal just Megatron-style outleaps three of their guys, and manages to corral the ball. Good so far.

Neal passes it to me just after I cross the timeline - good patience and presence of mind not to give it up early and commit a backcourt violation. Finding myself surprisingly open, I toss up an off-balance 35-footer just before time expires and the buzzer sounds...

It's good.

We win, gym goes nuts. I can't believe no one had their camera phone out! I can only imagine what being a NBA player and hitting a game-winner must feel like - the reaction sounded deafening to me and there were maybe like 50 people there. It's still a bit of a blur to me - the shot felt good as I released it, and I thought I had a 1/3 chance of it dropping once it was in the air. The ball felt like it hung up forever and I didn't know what to do once it rattled in. I put one finger in the air for a second and put my head down and walked over towards my bench, all of whom I discovered were sprinting at me full speed. I managed not to jump around and punch the air like that jerkface for Chicago in '89.

Our season ended the next day, but we'll always have the Brunswick Bomb.


Browns
Will you look at these fucking things the steelers are going to wear for two games in the 2012 season? Unbelievable. Serves them right, having to wear those hideous things. Goodness.

My NFL Draft prediction remains as before: the Browns will pick some dudes, Mel Kiper will give us an utterly pointless "B" draft grade, and none of it will matter until games start.

As for the Browns schedule, I've cautioned readers in the past about reading the tea leaves of an NFL schedule given the league's yearly volatility in won-loss totals, so let's not fret over the clubs we see on the Browns' slate. If you're going to worry about one team on the sked, it should be the Browns, because we are not good. Not as bad as NFL.com originally opined, but probably not good.

Lots of hard-hitting analysis from me there, I know. To summarize:
1) The NFL Draft is boring.
2) Don't bother trying to interpret the Browns' strength of schedule.


Buckeyes
Not much going on in Buckeyeland with the cagers and and gridironers in off-season, though Figgs did inform me of a key lacrosse victory the Buckeyes posted over the weasels recently. I actually don't know if it was "key" or not, but it was over michigan, so I'll take it.

At trivia last night, I saw a couple of disconcerting things. One was a replay of last year's Game, and my hatred for that idiotic eating thing that can't-tie kept doing has only magnified over time. It is so stupid. I can't wait to see him eating turf and crow next year.

I also saw a michigan scrimmage, which is just horrible. michigan vs michigan? Who am I supposed to hate more? Shudder.