Thursday, June 28

What if the Indians stopped running these stupid commercials?

I hate the "What If" campaign. Sorry, Indians organization, I'm still as much a fan as ever, but these ads have spiraled out of control and are starting to encroach on my enjoyment of your radio broadcasts. I know I'm being a spoilsport here, but hear me out.

At first, when they premiered last year, the ads made sense. They spoke to a certain sense around the surprising club - what if everything came together, what if this ragtag club went the Major League route and crashed the playoffs? It was genuinely inspiring.

Now it's confusing and weird, like how the Carfox from the Carfax commercials went from the puppet the salesman used to divert attention from a Carfax request to suddenly and inexplicably being their spokesperson. Now all the "What if" questions (backed by music more creepy than spine-tingling) are either hypotheticals or questions whose answers are unimportant.

What if this were your house?
Progressive Field, that is. Seems like an odd place to live, but if you mean it in the sense of it being your club's home field...well, it is our house. Where is the hypothetical to be considered.

What if you could be here?
I can, I go to games all the time. I really, really don't get it.

...or here
What if you stopped airing these commercials?

What if you could show your pride
YOU CAN SHOW YOUR PRIDE! No 'what if'! People wear jerseys and hats and pins and all sorts of pride-showing things. This isn't a what if. This has nothing to do with the original intent of the campaign

and scream and cheer
You can absolutely, 100% do these things. "What if you could breathe...what if you could eat food at a game..."

What if it was your passion that brought them home

What if this was the house that you built?
Are you referring to the tax that funded Gateway? If so, then again, I'm sorry, not a hypothetical. End this.

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