Positives from the Cavs' early playoff exit

I don't need to tell you that the Cavs' postseason performance was lousy, that it was hugely disappointing, or that one of Cleveland's best chances at a title in almost 15 years has vanished. Any hacky sportswriter can (and will) write about that, and LeBron James' impending free agency, until the cows come home, and I'm not going to read any of it. I'm cheerfully taking a head-in-the-sand approach to reading about the NBA and NHL after my clubs' inglorious exits on consecutive days and instead focusing on the positives that will emerge from having my May and June free of postseason distractions. So while you may not need me to rehash the devastating end of another Cleveland pro sports campaign (the 69th straight of my fan career sans championship), you do need me to tell you the good things about it:

- Not facing Orlando saves you anywhere from 12-21 hours of looking at Dwight Howard, Stan Van Jeremy, Mickaeioul Pietrus, Vince Carter, and the rest of the Magic. Seriously, did you want to put yourself through that much time watching their ridiculous sarcastic grins? With all the post-foul mugging and griping these teams do, I wonder how a Celtics-Magic contest stays under five hours.

- I'm not entirely convinced we were getting past the Lakers anyway.

- More time to spend with your families and community. OK, I'm kidding about that, but more time to spend at the bar anyway.

- Tribe attendance may start routinely topping 10K again.

- Speaking of 10K, I'm going to try to salvage this disastrous sports week by running a 10K in Cleveland this Sunday...then running three more back-to-back, then 2.195 more kilometers. Yes, that's right, a marathon. It may sound daunting, but fortunately I know the secret to good training: playing softball for the first time in two years as hard as you possibly can and straining every muscle in your body four days prior to the race. Don't worry, I'll answer the bell on Sunday.

- With Papa Hawkins having gone AWOL, you'll get more of my exciting perfunctory Indians coverage!

- At least 7 more months without seeing that goddamn fucking montage of Cleveland's worst sports moments that all the networks show every fucking time one of our teams plays a big game. That thing makes me borderline homicidal, just like it will when they show it during the Browns' first playoff game this winter.