Friday, April 4

In which Andy live-blogs the Tribe on the West Coast

OK, this game started a while ago, while I was watching a Pearl Jam cover band (the Nirvana tribute was better, just like real life!). Three catch-up thoughts:

1) This umpire sucks.
2) California people absolutely cannot deal with anything less than 60 degrees.
3) Booing an opposing pitcher for hitting your team's batter (except for obvious headhunting/retaliation circumstances) is utter foolishness. You do realize that your team's player is awarded first base, no? The A's notched their first run tonight because Kurt Suzuki (who may or may not even actually carry a bat to the plate) was hit accidentally by a pitch with two out and nobody on. Then, when a second batter was unintentionally plunked in the same inning (after Suzuki had scored), the fans booed again. Do you not see how these mistakes have helped your club so far? Do you understand the objective of this game?

Top 3rd
Doucher? Oakland's pitcher's surname has a lot of superfluous letters, but the Tribe broadcasters seem to be saying it this way every time. Doucher it is.

Bottom 3rd
Mike Sweeney not a Royal? This simply cannot be. Maybe it's another Mike Sweeney who looks exactly like the Royals guy. Further evidence is presented by the Indians getting him out, which never happened with the original version.

Jack Cust just mauled us last year. Some serious WTP this time up, but no trouble.

I can't understand why a baseball would travel farther in daytime air than nighttime, as Matt Underwood claims. I mean, outer space is the ├╝ber-cold, and you could hit a 2000-foot homerun on the Moon.

Josh Barfield goes 4-5 in the Buffaloes' opener to back 5 shutout innings from Aaron Laffey. We will see both of these gentlemen in Cleveland this season.

The Cobra continues to walk a tightrope, but hey, it's still 1-0. Next up on Tribe baseball: try to get a hit in the first half of the game.

Top 4th
I got your no-hitter right here, Doucher. Now, about that shutout...

Bottom 4th
Two thoughts unrelated to this particular contest:
1) Absolutely no reason to make base coaches wear batting helmets, other than for people at bars to tell the Rickey Henderson-John Olerud story.
2) As TV viewers, we should get a solid two weeks before TV starts showing this year's statistics. Telling me that a guy is 1-5 on the year is far less useful than, say, his 2007 OPS. Or almost anything. A player's age is a more useful datum at this stage of the season.

Top 5th
I say this every year, and every year it falls on totally deaf ears, but I really, really wish baseball would stop making managers and coaches wear full uniforms. They look silly, even sillier than these random black tops the Athletics are sporting this evening. The Oaklanders have some of the sharpest threads in sports - this is not necessary.

It's funny how the announcers always call an at-bat ending with a full-count walk a "good at-bat," yet never issue that praise for a first-pitch home run or any other variety of successful trip to the plate. Now that I reflect more, a BB isn't even actually an at-bat, so the one time they overuse this phrase it's not even correct baseball parlance.

A's fans, still don't like HBP's? How about, Blake gets hit by that pitch that missed him by 0.0001 mm and the Wahoos have based loaded with one out, versus him avoiding the pitch and me now watching a Chrysler commercial. Baserunners are good.

Top 6th
Welcome back, sports fans. It's now 5-0 A's. Not only did I get to hear the A's hit like 16 consecutive bloop singles, but I spent arguably the worst half hour of my life repairing my closet door which fell off its track for no apparent reason. The person who designed this door needs to be shot.

I come back from my home improvement excursion to see Peralta magically turn a bases-loaded walk into two outs and Travis Hafner submit an almost impossibly inept at-bat to polish things off. I think I need a new hobby.

As much as I'd like to finish this diary, because I've enjoyed writing it, I do have to get up in the morning and I'm borderline homicidal at the moment. Let's hope CC can defeat some pitcher named "Dana" tomorrow.

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