Breaking down the Cavs loss, Onion-style

The Onion's take on the Cavaliers' loss to the Magic (too soon?):

- Team chemistry somewhat disrupted by LeBron James practicing in Knicks warm-ups

- After the Cavs missed their first shot in Game 1, Coach Mike Brown just shook his head and left the arena

- To avoid getting into foul trouble, many key players left games in the second quarter

- At one point, LeBron passed the ball to a man named Tarence Kinsey

- Flurry of ill-advised, off-balance jump shots didn't pay off as intended

- Wally Szczerbiak broke the "Wally Szczerbiak doesn't get to shoot" rule

- Thought America would just vote them into the championship round

My personal favorite, saving the best for last:
- After years of remarkable good luck fielding many successful sports franchises, karma finally caught up to the city of Cleveland