This is a letter to the New York Post!

I decided to listen to Chuck D' and Flavor Flav's famous dis track, "A Letter to the NY Post," while I take the New York Boast's Marc Berman to the woodshed for the worst article written about the entire LeBron saga and, in fact, any topic. Goodness, is this ever stupid. I'm going to have my main brothers from Strong Island help me out here.

After spending two out of the three days at the LeBron James summit in Cleveland, I am amazed how northeastern Ohio takes its lone sports treasure for granted.
"Worst piece of paper on the East Coast"
We have three major professional teams, but thanks for noticing, Marc. Also: the only way you can think that we take LeBron for granted is by ignoring everything that has happened here in the past seven years.

I camped at the IMG building Thursday and Saturday and spent the other day in Chicago for the Knicks' meetings with Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh.
This sounds excruciatingly boring. I live like two blocks from IMG and never once gave any thought to heading down there. I love sports and live and die with the Cleveland teams (mostly die), but what's the fun in standing outside an off-season business negotiation? No thanks - I'll be heading to Progressive Field for an actual game of baseball.

There nearly was as much buzz outside Chicago's Peninsula Hotel, awaiting Wade and Bosh to come out, as anything witnessed in Cleveland.
"190 years of continuous fucked-up news."
I'm not clear on why this is newsworthy.

The Cleveland "Fan Tunnel" orchestrated by the Cavs on Saturday did not have a significant turnout. The goal was to have crowds lining St. Clair Avenue as James drove in for his final two meetings with the Cavs and Bulls.
This also does not sound fun. I care about Cleveland sports so much that I write a blog about them, but have absolutely no interest in participating in a "Fan Tunnel." This does not make me any less passionate or devoted. I respect all that LeBron has done for the club, and I really wish he would stay and win a title here, but this is groveling and has nothing to do with whether he will stay. I wonder when Berman will get to the part where he's by far the city's most popular athlete ever, we have a giant billboard with his picture on it, and sell out every game at the Q. Waiting...

One or two thousand fans were needed to make any impact.
"Sorry Jack, you took the info straight outta The Post - burnt us like toast"
10 million wouldn't matter. This is about money and legacy.

A couple of hundred showed up -- many of them employed by Quicken Loans Arena. They encircled the parking garage entrance when James drove in at 11 a.m. and they didn't even realize it was him as he drove in.
[Is asleep]

By the time James drove off in his silver Audi at 4:30 p.m., there were about 100 left. Considering the magnitude of this story, it was an underwhelming gathering.
"It always seems that they make our neighborhood look bad"
The magnitude of what story? Sorry, free agent hype isn't a story to me. When he signs here or somewhere else, that will be newsworthy. I care about games, not Audis. I'm not sitting here thinking, damn, I wish I'd seen LeBron's Audi drive away. This article is much more about us not being interested in back-room negotiations and the trappings of celebrity, and I'm guilty.

James talks about loving Akron, not Cleveland. He makes a distinction between the two cities which are 40 minutes apart, according to a source connected to his camp. He often has talked about "putting Akron on the map."
This is possibly the only correct item in this report; it's also already widely known.

James should realize playing in New York raises his profile
"It makes no god damn sense at all."
Basically everyone in the world currently knows who LeBron is. How high, exactly, can one's profile get?

and will bring more attention to Akron.
Nonsense. See above PE quote.

Cleveland fans did not embrace the moment Saturday or in May when James left the Quicken Loans Arena court for perhaps the final time as a Cavalier. He received scattered boos instead of a standing ovation.
"Get ya shit correct."
Berman conveniently leaves out the part where the Cavs played a listless, pathetic game in perhaps their biggest contest of LeBron's tenure. I don't condone home-team booing because I think it's counterproductive, but if ever a game deserved it, this was the one.

It never was a great basketball town before James
Editor's note: I got here and realized that I'd already used "It makes no god damn sense at all." in an earlier draft of the piece. That tells you all you need to know about this article.
False, Marcus. We had the Miracle at Richfield team, and our late-80's - early '90's Price-Daugherty-Nance teams. People cared the hell out of those squads.

-- ruled by the Browns and Indians. Other than "The Dawg Pound," there lacks a sports passion found in New York, Philadelphia, Boston, Chicago, and Detroit.
Unreal. Where do I even start? This is, quite simply, the stupidest thing I have ever seen someone write about sports. New FCF Reader Challenge: write something stupider than this sentence. "Thank you, Marc. We are now all dumber for having read your writing."

During the Knicks' Thursday presentation, team brass sold more than a "wanna-be-a-billionaire" scheme. The Knicks sold the passion and energy of New York City.
And the money. Did they sell the dead crowds MSG has had for the past few seasons?

The Knicks have done everything to get you to New York, LeBron, trashing two seasons
More like 10 seasons. Burn!

clearing $35 million in cap space and now adding the guy you wanted in Cleveland -- stud power forward Amar'e Stoudemire. There's no excuse now.
There are tons of reasons not to go to New York, up to and including Stoudemire's inevitable ball-hogging, less contract money, an otherwise lousy team with poor management, distance from his giant mansion in Akron, and a far less accomodating media and fan base. But good point, Marc: no excuses!

The vibe emerging out of northeastern Ohio -- despite Stoudemire's signing -- has James leaning toward staying in Cleveland.
For the reasons stated above, it's a smart decision, perhaps on a three-year deal. I can see Chicago, too; he, Bosh, Noah, and Rose would make a formidable roster. One reason I can't see being a draw to Chicago: the fact that Jordan played there. Why do people think this would lure LeBron there? "Hey, come play in the only city in the entire league where you will never be considered the franchise's best player!" LeBron does not strike me as the type of fellow who wishes to play in someone else's shadow.

Fact is, Cleveland doesn't deserve him.
"America's oldest continuously published daily piece of bullshit"
Because we didn't go to some dumb rally after the Cavs' sales pitch? This is completely insane.