Wednesday, June 16


During Sunday's Tribe game against the Natties, I got stuck next to a family that, well, didn't exactly add a whole lot of enjoyment to my Progressive Field experience. It was a man, woman, and their 8-year-old (guessing) son, and since one of the adults was frequently gone with the boy, I ended up in generally one-sided conversations with the other spouse.

Now, the lady had the seat next to mine. She was friendly, though her lack of baseball knowledge was startling and at times comical. I mean, not everyone who goes to games knows baseball intimately; I understand this. But she was actively misanalyzing the game in puzzling ways; criticizing Tribe pitchers for inducing foul balls, complaining about Indian batters drawing walks (?), and voicing her disapproval of Tribe hitters' inability to hit Stephen Strasburg's 156 MPH fastball. She knew enough about baseball to be dangerous, let's put it that way. Well-meaning, but misguided. But hey, at least she stood behind her Tribe, which is more than I can say about the other members of her family.

So when she leaves early in the game, the guy launches into this story about his kid and the Washington Nationals, and for those of you scoring at home, no, I did not inquire. He tells me how some relative of his lives in DC or something, and they go to games from time to time, and his kid has seen six victories in person in six games attended, five of the come-from-behind variety. Like I fucking care about the Washington Nationals. I have on an Indians jersey and a Chief Wahoo hat - what is it about me that makes you think I want to hear about your kid's luck with the Natties? I tried to be polite but certainly wasn't encouraging the discussion. Ignoring him in favor of the game wasn't in any way dissuasive, nor was me offering needling comments like "that's correlation, not causation" and "I sincerely hope that streak comes to an end today." He just kept plowing ahead and then tells me that HE'S rooting for the DC'ers so his son's streak stays intact.

I'm sorry, but: no. You're a native Clevelander wearing a Chief Wahoo hat. Unless your son is playing for the Nationals, you cheer for the Tribe, and even then maybe root for your son to pitch a no-hitter and take a no-decision or something. Inbetween annoying cheers for Nationals runs, he told me "I wanted the Indians to go 161-1 this season," like I was supposed to be impressed by his quasi-loyalty or something. Boo!

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