Thursday, February 18

Utter and complete non-analysis: the Cavaliers' second half

If you're like most people, you don't read my sportswriting for the sort of analysis you can get from any sportswriter. In fact, if you're like most people, you don't read anything I write at all. But when you do, you expect me to have a clever angle that the other guys just don't see, and believe me, I got that in spades today. Be ready for my bold, insightful second-half Cavalier predictions:

- The Cavs will win a lot of games.

- They will not lose very many games.

- They will qualify for the Eastern Conference Playoffs.

- LeBron James will be one of the club's top players.

- They will focus on the basket area. Note: this was one of the "keys to the game" before the recent Nets game, as if there was anywhere else a basketball team could possibly focus. The other key was: don't take them lightly. Sorry, guys, you can definitely take a 4-46 team lightly. The Cavs did just that and still won easily. Probably by focusing on the basket area.

- JJ Hickson will shoot a high percentage of high-percentage shots.

- Coach Brown will eagerly discuss the team's defensive work.

- Anderson Varejao will be knocked down while defending an opposing player who is attempting to score.

- LeBron James will not play for the New York Knicks or New Jersey Nets the rest of this season.

- Editor's note: this just happened: Holy shit, we have Antawn Jamison now! 'm pretty sure George Costanza swung this trade: "I found a way we can get Jamison and Telfair...and we wouldn't even have to give up that much!"

- Seriously, this trade is a joke - we give up a #1 pick way the hell at the bottom of the round and Z's expiring deal (which we may or may not get back) and get a guy averaging 20.5/8.8. I feel the sort of remorse Yankee fans must feel, or would if they had souls.

- Suddenly, that $20 I put on the Cavaliers at 3:1 is looking extra-good. Vegas should just pay it out early to beat the rush.

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