NFL Picks: Week 16

Let's face it: the magic is gone for Andy Francis. After a stellar 2008 campaign and strong first half of 2009, the wheels have fallen off, as I've placed last three weeks in a row. With just two weeks left in the regular season, my lead is increasingly in jeopardy, sitting at just three games. All I need is one strong week to put it away, but those have been hard to come by of late. Meanwhile, newcomers Bucko (52%) and Gopo (57%) have made solid early showings. Let's see how our team sees the penultimate week shaking out:

Last week
Andy: 6-8-2
Figgs: 7-7-2
Nick: 7-7-2
Bucko: 6-8-2
Gopo: 7-7-2
Nick's Money Picks ($): 2-1

Year to date
Andy: 117-104-3
Figgs: 109-112-3
Nick: 114-107-3
Bucko: 24-22-2
Gopo:17-13-2
Nick's Money Picks ($): 29-26

Friday game
8:20 pm kickoff

TITANS (-3) vs Chargers
Andy: These teams are on a combined 16-1 run; not a bad matchup at all. I think the Titties need this one and will come through on xmas day. Titans.
Figgs: This should be a another good game that no one will see. I'm hoping for the Titans to hurt the Steelers, but I just can't see any reasoning on why they would be favored. If this was Chargrs -3 it would be a really tough call, but +3? SD, "book it."
Nick: Titans. Tennessee has more to play for, and Vince Young wins games. Happy birthday Jesus!
Bucko: I'm not for sure what Chargers team will show up, but I know Johnson and the Tit-ans will. Titans.
Gopo: chargers - the team is just playing well right now. i have a hard time seeing the titties stop that offense. johnson is going to have a huge day, but i think the titties will have to throw to stay in it.


Sunday games
1:00 pm kickoffs

BROWNS (-3) vs Raiders
Andy: Nick and I are going to this game, straight representin'. Time to strech this to three against a cold, disinterested Raider team that would rather play absolutely anyone at QB instead of JaMarcus Russell. BROWNS.
Figgs: Wait, we're predicited to WIN a game?!?! BROWNS.
Nick: Browns. There's a new NFL rule that grants a playoff exemption to one 5-11 team each year. After we finish off the Raiders and Jagoffs, I think we're a strong candidate. Super Bowl.
Bucko: Browns
Gopo: Raiders. Andy's note: I'm hoping that our Steeler-fan cohort Gopo turns into a WWE-style heel and picks against the Browns every week.

FALCONS (-9) vs Buffaloes
Andy: I don't see why Atlanta is getting quite so many points here - I'll take Perry Fewell's Buffalo squad.
Figgs: Buffalo seems like a good pick here, but I like pickng the ATL and I hate picking the Jills. Dirrty Birrds.
Nick: I like the Billskies here too. Atlanta's getting too much credit for past performance.
Bucko: Buffalo.
Gopo: Buffaloes

BENGALS (-13.5) vs Chieves
Andy: Bengals. I've seen Kansas City try to defend the rush, and it isn't pretty. The Bengals are going to be refocused after the tough loss to San Diago and should just pound the Chieves.
Figgs: Bengals have no problem winning this one, but the line's a little high for me. KC.
Nick: Cincy. The Chiefs are really bad against the run, and that's one thing that the Bengals do really well.
Bucko: Chieves
Gopo: Chieves

PACKERS (-14) vs Seahawks
Andy: It's simple: you lose to a 1-12 team by 19 points at home, I don't take you the following week. Look for the Pack to regroup in the cold against a suddenly-awful Seattle team.
Figgs: Suddenly awful? I don't remember a time when they didn't blow. Pack.
Nick: Gotta take the Pack here, right? They need this game and Seattle's really been one of the league's worst. They just got stomped by the Bucs at Qwest, after all.
Bucko: Packers
Gopo: Seahawks

STEELERS (-3) vs Ravens
Andy: I think the Steelers have their mojo back after that win against the Packers. They nearly knocked off Baltimore in the Murder City a few weeks ago with Dennis Dixon quarterbacking - I think maybe a guy who threw for 500 yards last week might be able to get them over the hump. Steelers.
Figgs: I hate when the situation makes me root for one of these teams, as I have to cheer for the ratbirds in this one to knock the Stillers out of the playoffs. That has nothing to do with my pick however, as I'm going with shitsburgh.
Nick: Ugh, Steelers. These goddamn cockroaches won't go away. My feelings towards the Steelers and their fans are just like Indiana Jones' feelings towards Nazis - "I hate these guys." My friend Chris: "People don't understand how much I hate Pittsburgh. I hate the very idea of Pittsburgh. I hate everything it stands for."
Bucko: Ravens
Gopo: Steelers

DOLPHINS (-3) vs Texans
Andy: Hate this game. The Texans are at .500, so I can't use my usual rule with them, the Dolphins are finicky, both teams have the same record, and Miami is getting the customary three-point home-field edge. Dolphins.
Figgs: I'm with Andy, toughest one on the board this week. I don't want to offend Nick this week so I'll just say Texans.
Nick: The Dolphins keep playing these coin flip games. I'll keep riding them.
Bucko: Texans
Gopo: Dolphins

PATRIOTS (-9) vs Jaguars
Andy: If Buffalo could keep it close with New England, one would think a playoff-contending Jacksonville team could too, but they suck on the road. What's the weirdest NFL score of 2009: Seattle waxing the Jags 41-0, or New England pasting Tennessee 59-0? Since that 100-0 combined effort happened with the Jags on the road and Pats at home, let's go Pats.
Figgs: Sound logic by Andy. Pats.
Nick: Pats. The Jags seem to play well at home, and not so much on the road.
Bucko: Jaguars
Gopo: Patriots

SAINTS (-14) vs Bucs
Andy: This week, I'll spare everyone an essay on why the Saints should win big and simply pick them. Saints.
Figgs: The Saints have kept games close lately, but not this one. NO.
Nick: Really like the Saints here.
Bucko: Saints
Gopo: Buccaneers

GIANTS (-7) vs Panthers
Andy: I'm now 3-11 picking the Panthers. They own me. This is ridiculous. And since I don't have a good feel for this, I'm going to pick them just so they lose, out of spite. Fuck you, Carolina. Panthers.
Figgs: The Giants win, but by less than a TD. Cats.
Nick: I'm having trouble feeling out this Giants team, but I'll pick them at home in a game they have to win against a mediocre opponent.
Bucko: Panthers
Gopo: Panthers

4:00 pm kickoffs

49ERS (-13) vs Lions
Andy: Detroit is AVERAGING a 22-point loss every time they set foot on an opponent's field, and they're missing their starting QB. 49ers.
Figgs: Too high of a line for a team that's not very good. Lions.
Nick: 'Nuff said, Andy. Niners.
Bucko: 49ers
Gopo: Lions

CARDS (-14) vs Rams
Andy: Wouldn't you think that Arizona at home, even with 2 TD's, should be taken against a team as bad as the Rams? You would, but Arizona is just 3-3 at home and has yet to cover a spread of this magnitude, even against Seattle. Meanwhile, St Louis loses a lot, but have only been routed once in the past 7 weeks. Weirdly, I say Rams.
Figgs: I like the Cards to put up some big numbers here.
Nick: Cards
Bucko: Cards
Gopo: Rams

COLTS (-5.5) vs Jets
Andy: A half of Manning and company is good enough against the punchless Jets. Colts.
Figgs: If I were to bet on a game this week it would be this one. (Besides San Diego on Friday, who I did bet on. How easy was that? Underdogs?) As The Coach told us last week, Peyton and his boys will play most if not all of this game, and Indy wins by over a touchdown.
Nick: The Jets suck enough for the Colts to win by 6 in a meaningless game. Colts.
Bucko: Jets
Gopo: Colts

EAGLES (-7) vs Broncos
Andy: After a 6-0 start, Denver fell to Earth like they'd been dropped from a mile high. Thanks, I'll be here all weekend. Eagles.
Figgs: I feel like Kenny Bania trying to follow that one. Philly.
Nick: This line should be higher. Eagles.
Bucko: Eagles
Gopo: Eagles

8:20 pm kickoffs

REDSKINS (+6.5) vs Cowboys
Andy: All of my "if this happened, then this should happen" hypotheses fall flat, but seriously, if Dallas could go into the Superdome and stick it to the Saints like they did, can't they roll the hapless 'Skins up by a TD? I say yes. 'Boys.
Figgs: Washington's players quit last week, as did Jim Zorn. Did they really run that awful fake even after NY knew it was coming, when it was a terrible play and terrible time to do it in the first place? Cowboys all day here.
Nick: 'Boys in my favorite game on the board. ($)
Bucko: Cowboys
Gopo: Cowboys


Monday Night Game
8:30 pm kickoff

BEARS (+7) vs Vikings
Andy: I don't pick the Bears, and with good reason: they're the league's worst against the spread, along with another team I picked against this week. Vikings.
Figgs: I don't know why spreads aren't higher against Chicago, they're awful. Vikes.
Nick: Vikings. I turned on the Bears right after they stomped the Browns, which was the perfect time. They suck. Lovie Smith should be fired. He got carried to that Super Bowl by a great defense.
Bucko: Vikings
Gopo: Vikings