Thursday, October 22

Ten Points: I'm tired of losing to these guys

1) A true professional
No, not any of the Browns. I'm talking about myself. Thursday has nearly come and gone without nary a Browns piece from our resident NFL expert Nick, and thus it falls upon me to get this recap done. Naturally, I plan to mail this in almost to the extent that Figgs mails in his NFL picks each week.

2) Josh Cribbs is good
The rest of the team: not so much. Yet another kick return for a TD - this guy is phenomenal. The interception wasn't so good, but at least he got to be a historical footnote by being the first dude to take back a kick and throw a pick in the same game since ever or something.

You know whose fault the pick was? JC, yes, but also a number of people not named Josh Cribbs. Braylon Edwards for being a total cock comes to mind. But more directly, Chanci Stuckey, who dropped an easy throw from Cribbs on the previous play. You get five yards on that play, you set up a better second down and that doesn't happen. We generally need to use Cribbs better on offense; more end-arounds and let's not totally abandon passing just because of one throw.

I think Cribbs has handled his contract situation with quite a bit of maturity. He wants more money, and he's open about that, but he also kinda got a good point. He's much more valuable than when he signed the deal, and deserves a promotion. But he's not being an idiot and holding out and pouting. He's kicking ass, like he always does, letting his play speak for itself and waiting until the off-season when he'll focus on getting a new deal, which he is virtually assured to get.

Also, I absolutely loved him mocking Hines Ward's stupid gallop thing on his way to the end zone. We get almost nothing over on the Steelers, so a small victory like that is fun. I hate Hines Ward. I hate all of the Steelers.

3) Ben Roethlisberger is ugly
Now that I've put that in bold letters, not much more needs to be said. I texted a die-hard Browns fan buddy of mine named Ben during the game that he should consider a name change. I was only half-kidding.

4) Brandon McDonald
Ye gods. You cannot convince me that he's a better DB than either Mike Furrey or Coye Francies. Or Cribbs, for that matter.

5) Duck and Cover
I have no idea how Nick comes up with this many puns each week - I'm reaching by item #5. This one's about the Browns covering the 14-point spread and making me look good. I was concerned those jerk Steelers would drive and kick a field goal and cover to double-screw me, but they didn't.

6) Flag on the play, on every single play
What dummy decided it was a good idea to show the Steelers' score in a yellow box at the top of the screen? Every single play I thought there was a flag because I saw the yellow box at the top of the screen. Would white text on a black field have been so difficult?

7) Mike Tomlin, fashionista
Tell me you didn't like those hilarious aviators he was sporting on the sidelines. I especially like cold-weather games late in the season when he shows up in a puffy coat and pajamas.

8) I'm in first place in the NFL Picks
And you're not.

9) Real troopers
I'll be meeting up with some fellows from the Capital District Browns Backers (Albany area, New York state) before the game Sunday. They're coming over 7 hours to see the Browns in person - now that's admirable dedication. I hope the Browns reward their service with some decent play.

10) You'll notice I didn't talk much about the game
It wasn't really worth it, wouldn't you agree? Maybe if we lose to the Pack by 20, Nick will let me guest-author this piece again. Considering we have about 54 guys out with the flu, I'm not super-optimistic about this one. On the bright side, we're now getting the nine points I initially predicted. Go Browns.


Figgs said...

Hey, I'm in second place in the picks, lay off man.

Andy said...

Good point, though I was referring more to the degree of commentary you add than to your accuracy. For example, your Week 5 picks were all one-word answers. Hey, we all get busy and pressed for time. Except me, apparently. Maybe I should get a life!

Figgs said...

Ah, well then I take back that comment. Although I'm always last when I do my picks and many times you guys already said what I was thinking so I don't write anything, and week 5 I was driving home from Columbus and just gave my picks to Nick over the phone.

Andy said...

Does this mean we're blaming Nick? Because: count me in.

Nick said...

Hey, Francis. Remember when I got a stitch in my side in the Great Race and still held you off?

Andy said...

Was that before or after I generously loaned you my bike at Lorain?