SPORTS ARMAGEDDON!!!

Wow is this ever a big fucking day in sports. Looking back on it, I'm a little surprised I put May 5th in my ranking of sports months, though two factors bump up this year's edition: my winter teams making extended playoff runs and the fact that football is currently somewhat removed from my sporting conscience. I love the game, but I've only got limited brain focus capacity. "Brain focus capacity" - listen to me. Damn, I need to learn how to write. Anyway, tonight is epic (in chronological order):

- Tribe/Yankees, 7 pm. I will be attending this game along with some assorted cronies and FCF'ers. Given the night's other sporting delights, I kinda wish I hadn't bought these tickets like two months ago, but the weather is excellent, Progressive Field is just a short walk away, and Yankee-hating is always in season. I've already seen too many of these idiot fans roaming the streets yesterday and today. One guy I ran by remarked that there were more Yankee fans than Indians fans here. No, you damn fool, it's just you're all roaming around outside because you're dirty street people and we actually have residences here, plus we don't wear our garb 24/7 because we have other clothes and the game doesn't start for 7 fucking hours. Oh, I'm ready for this. Welcome to Cleveland, Yankee fans. Now leave.

- Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals, 8 pm. This features my beloved Pittsburgh Penguins , out to avenge last year's Finals loss to the hated Detroit Red Army. I despise them nearly as much as I do the Yankees. Same big money, same rampant success and fan base, same antagonizing of my favorite club. Three of ESPN's six "experts" picked the Pens - all six of them correctly picked both Conference Finals winners, so maybe Pittsburgh has a good chance. That wasn't the case last year when Detroit totally outclassed them. Let's steal the first one in Michigan (I refuse to call the city by the obnoxiously pretentious hockey-related nickname they've bestowed on themselves) and take it from there.

- Game 6 of the NBA's Eastern Conference Finals, Cavaliers at Magic. Obviously, I'm far more invested and concerned in this one than the other two. Any time your club faces elimination you're on pins and needles, but this year was supposed to be special for the Cavaliers. I estimate our odds in this one at roughly 1 in 3, but I like our chances if we can get it back to C-town for the deciding Game 7.


If one were to put this evening on a 1 to 10 scale, I'd assign the following relative points for victories:

Cavs 6
Pens 3
Tribe 1

Sorry, Indians, but it's regular-season, and frankly, you're not even that good right now. Check back with me in a month when I'm trying to figure out how to simultaneously wear my NBA and NHL Champions t-shirts.

Speaking of which, how am I supposed to wear a Penguins jersey, Cavs t-shirt and hat, Tribe jersey and hat all at once tonight? :)