Vote Cribbs

One of my favorite topics to harp on is how stupid fan voting is for pro sports all-star games (the games themselves aren't that great, but that's another article.) Fans are totally inept at this task and shouldn't have any influence on who is selected, ever. Ever. I remember a few years ago when Nomar Garciaparra led AL shortstops in All-Star voting even though he hadn't, in fact, played a game that year. Great job, fans!


Now I've got a new one to complain about: the Patriots' Wes Welker leading the AFC in voting for kick returners just because he plays for the Patsies. The man is SEVENTH in punt return average and doesn't return kickoffs. Think about that, digest it for a minute. He only does half of the team's returning, and six guys are better than him at that half of it. Granted, seventh is respectable in punt returns, but we're not voting on respectability, we're trying to select the league's best return man. And Welker is clearly not even close to that.

I think we've established that anyone who casts a vote for Welker is a fool. This is especially true when you have an option like the Browns' Josh Cribbs. Not only does Cribbs lead the league in kick return average (his total KR yardage is nine times of what Welker has piled up in all of six returns on the year), but also sports a punt return average that is, you guessed it, better than Welker's.

Vote Cribbs!

Because we're playing the Jets...

Heroes & Zeroes: Week 13

That was rough. When the Browns lose a game to a better team, or even a team of comparable talent, it’s tough for fans to swallow. But when the Browns flat out gift wrap a game for a team, especially a team that’s clearly inferior, it’s beyond frustrating. And that’s without a doubt what happened on Sunday; the Cardinals didn’t win the game, the Browns lost it.

The glass half full perspective says that four turnovers including a pick-six is an insurmountable obstacle for most teams, and yet the Browns still had a chance to win the game on the final play. But there’s no way to spin the fact that Cleveland should have beaten Arizona by multiple touchdowns, and the Browns let a golden opportunity go by the wayside on Sunday.

I swear, the Browns should carry Tim Couch on the roster solely for Hail Mary endgame scenarios…


This Week’s Zeroes

Five Demerits: Derek Anderson
Derek Anderson seemed to be getting his turnover problem under control. In the three games prior to facing the Cardinals, DA had limited himself to just a pair of turnovers.

Apparently Anderson hasn’t quite turned that corner yet, and DA Harvey Two-Face reared his ugly head on Sunday. Two interceptions, one returned for a touchdown, and a lost fumble, those are the numbers that really mattered for Anderson. Throughout his collegiate and professional careers, the big knocks on Anderson have been inconsistency, bad decision-making, and turnovers. We saw all three against the Cards.

Anderson’s pick-six to Roderick Hood put the Browns in a 7-0 hole. But Anderson’s fumble on the ensuing drive which led to another Arizona touchdown put the Browns behind the eight ball, and it was a lead that would prove to be too much for the youthful squad to overcome.

Anderson has only started 14 NFL games, and he looked like a first year starter against the Cards. But Anderson does deserve some credit for recovering from a putrid start to at least give the Browns a chance to win.

DA’s struggles have allowed the Brady Quinn murmurs to restart. This is only natural when a high profile and very gifted prospect is sitting on the bench. But under no circumstance except injury will Brady Quinn replace Anderson this season. It just won’t happen. Frankly, all the Brady Quinn in ‘07 talk is silly; it’s time for everyone to get behind Anderson for these last four games, for better or worse.

And whether you’re a Quinn guy or and Anderson backer, the fact remains that Derek Anderson playing well this season is great for the Browns both short term and long term. In the present, Anderson playing well means the Browns will make the playoffs. And if Anderson plays well, it will help the Browns in the future, when they will most likely trade him for draft picks in the off-season.

Four Demerits: NFL Rules Committee
Force-outs are not reviewable, but they should be.

Anyone with half a brain who watched the replay of Derek Anderson’s 37-yard “incompletion” to Kellen Winslow will tell you that K2 was forced out of bounds. I realize that a force-out is a judgment call, but there are plenty of reviewable plays that are judgment calls, so I’m not buying that excuse.

How about a sideline catch, isn’t that a judgment call? The receiver needs possession of the football and two feet inbounds. How often does the official have to make a judgment call regarding possession?

I rest my case. NFL, get the rule fixed this off-season.

Three Demerits: Brian Billick
Author’s Note: There’s a very good chance that Brian Billick may become this column’s default whipping boy. It couldn’t happen to a nicer guy…

Did you happen to catch that puffy coat Billick was sporting this week? Was that thing made of Gore-Tex? It didn’t look like something that belongs on an NFL head coach. By contrast, Bill Belichick’s trademark hoody looked awfully classy.

I was enormously close to rooting for the Ravens on Monday night solely because they were playing the despicable Patriots. By game time I came to my senses.

Was there ever any doubt that the Pats were going to pull it out? It just felt like one of those games during which some unseen force wasn’t going to let the Ravens finish off New England. But the Patriots have sure looked vulnerable the last two weeks. I’ll definitely have an eye on that Pittsburgh/New England game during the Browns game’s commercial breaks this week.

But back to the offensive genius at hand. It’s often said that sports teams take on the demeanor of their coach, and in the Ravens’ case, it couldn’t be more true. Billick has trained a team full of whiners, and he’s trained them well. If you tuned in to any sports talk radio on Tuesday morning, you heard the whining of at least four Baltimore defenders bashing the officials from Monday night’s game. It seemed that the general consensus in the Baltimore locker room was that the officials handed the game to the Patriots. Losers. It might as well have come from the mouth of Billick himself.

Sure, Bill Belichick was the reason that Rex Ryan called a timeout. Tom Brady obviously forced Jamaine Winborne to grab handfuls of Ben Watson’s jersey on fourth down from the 13-yard line. And when Bart Scott threw a teenage girl temper tantrum and chucked a penalty flag into the stands, it was actually Randy Moss in disguise.

After his Ravens won 13 games last season, Billick’s squad has plummeted to 4-8, losers in six straight. Remember when Billick was on the hot seat following the ‘05 season? He’s about to get a refresher course in job insecurity.

Two Demerits: Joshua Cribbs
That two-point conversion was one of the coolest plays I’ve ever seen the Browns run, but it was Cribbs’ fumble on a punt return that allowed the Cardinals to extend their lead to 11 points late in the third quarter.

Cribbs made a rare error in the return game, and he looked like the greenhorn punt returner we saw at the end of last season. JC has to realize that when you run more than 10 or 12 yards to catch a punt, the risk becomes far greater than the reward. When in doubt, just let the ball go.

We probably won’t see this mistake from Cribbs again, so lesson learned. Plays like this make Cribbs’ fumble forgivable.

One Demerit: Leigh Bodden
Following Anderson’s fumble on the second drive of the game, the Browns’ defense had the Cardinals stopped. It would be fourth down from the Browns 37, and the Cardinals would probably elect to punt.

But Leigh Bodden earned a delay of game penalty for kicking the football after it bounced off the turf, apparently having watched The Big Green the previous evening. The penalty kept the Cardinals’ second touchdown drive alive, and without it, the Browns would have been left with a much more manageable one possession deficit.

A quick side note: is it just me, or has Bodden looked really, really bad at times this year? I remember him being a dominant cover corner in the past, even Chad Johnson gave him props back in 2005. CHAD JOHNSON! But this season, Bodden’s been getting torched all too often, and he’s frequently getting turned around by receivers.

In all fairness, Bodden has been a little banged up with that groin pull earlier this season. And to his credit, this looks to be the first season in which Bodden will play all 16 games, a notable achievement for a guy with a significant injury history. Still, it certainly wouldn’t hurt things for Bodden to regain his form circa ’05-’06.



This Week’s Heroes

Five Dog Bones: Rob Chudzinski
Remember when one of the excuses made by Maurice Carthon apologists was “it’s hard to call plays in the NFL for the first time”? The Chud begs to differ.

I can’t say enough about Rob Chudzinski. Chud is arguably the biggest reason for the offense’s improvement, and there’s no doubt that the guy has some serious game when it comes to calling plays.

That two-point conversion play was without a doubt the coolest and most inventive play the Browns have run during Romeo Crennel’s tenure. The deception of Anderson calling an audible was beautiful, and we finally got to see Cribbs throw a pass. Let’s hope this is a sign of things to come, as giving Cribbs a couple of plays each game in a Kordell Stewart-esque role (a “Slash” role, not a lousy interception machine role) could really give opposing defensive coordinators nightmares.

The early deficit forced Chudzinski’s hand a bit, as the running game became secondary. It’s clear that Chud wants to pound the rock on the ground as Old Man Winter makes his entrance; the Browns had run the ball 30 and 33 times, respectively, in the previous two contests.

Four Dog Bones: Braylon Edwards
Our favorite Michigan Wolverine had himself a huge day in the desert. Isn’t it weird seeing a Michigan guy in a stadium where they play BCS Bowls? It seems oddly out of place…

At any rate, Edwards has clearly mastered the Zen of the receiver, as his 149-yard day made him the first Browns receiver to break the 1,000-yard barrier since Antonio Bryant in 2005. Scary numbers: Edwards is only the Browns’ third 1,000-yard receiver since their 1999 revival (the other being Kevin Johnson in ‘01).

Edwards’ 67-yard touchdown catch and run was controversial, but down by contact or not, it was still an amazing play. It was nice to see Edwards grab seven catches; he had averaged only 4.33 catches over the previous three games. The Browns need to work to get Edwards 10-plus looks in every game, especially in the vertical passing game where he’s a threat to go the distance every single play.

Three Dog Bones: Sean Jones
Wow, Butch Davis actually got one right.

Jones is quietly putting together his second consecutive solid season. He’s arguably the Browns’ best playmaker on defense, as he’s a human missile in run support, and a ball hawk in coverage.

Jones doesn’t get the respect of guys like Bob Sanders, Ed Reed, and Troy Polamalu, but he’s the glue of the Browns’ defense. Without Jones…well, let’s just not entertain that theoretical.

Two Dog Bones: Kellen Winslow
Wow, Butch Davis actually got two right.

Winslow didn’t put up his usual numbers, as he had only three catches for 35 yards. But he did execute the two-point conversion perfectly. The Browns made it look like a direct snap to Cribbs, and Winslow blocked an Arizona linebacker to further sell the illusion of a Cribbs run. The Cardinals took the bait, Winslow released from his block, and he was all alone in the back of the end zone to consummate the conversion.

But Winslow’s biggest play of the game didn’t show up in the box score. It was a 37-yard “incompletion” in the end zone on the game’s final play. I won’t dance around the subject: it absolutely was a catch. There’s no doubt that Winslow was pushed out of bounds in midair, and had he not been pushed out, he would have landed with both feet comfortably in bounds. Touchdown, Browns! Phil Dawson kicks the extra point, we all go home happy. If only it was that simple…

The official didn’t make the force-out call, and the Browns’ fourth loss was finalized after a booth replay that was mostly for the sake of thoroughness. You can say the Browns got hosed, because yes, it was the incorrect call. But you’d be wrong, the Browns weren’t really hosed at all.

That’s not a call that Winslow’s going to get on the last play of the game. The final play is a completely different animal. Referees are extremely hesitant about making a game-changing call on the last play. To be called on the final play, a penalty needs to be visible to Stevie Wonder, or at least Snake Plissken. It’s the reason that Derrick Mason wasn’t called for mauling Asante Samuel on the final play of that Patriots/Ravens game on Monday night, and it’s why LeBron James and other hoopsters have to put up with anything and everything that doesn’t qualify as an assault charge on the final play of a basketball game. Whether it’s right or wrong, the refs usually let the players determine what happens on the last play of the game.

Lone Bone: Ken Whisenhunt
The Cardinals are now tied with the Lions and Vikings for the NFC’s second Wild Card spot. Considering the remaining schedules for the three teams, the Cards are my pick to grab that final spot. And although the NFC is weak enough that Notre Dame might be able to break .500, Arizona averaged only five wins during the previous five seasons, so just being in the playoff conversation is a major achievement for that franchise.

No doubt, Whisenhunt’s Cardinals have overcome some obstacles. Number one, they’re just not very talented on defense. Second, their starting quarterback struggled, and then suffered a season-ending collarbone injury in the fifth game of the season. And C, Kurt Warner has been limited by torn ligaments in his left elbow, leading to Warner playing with his left arm in a cumbersome brace. Despite the hurdles, Arizona has managed to stay afloat at 6-6, and three of those six losses were by three points or less. All in all, a very impressive head coaching debut.

Whisenhunt made a great coaching move on Sunday, instructing Neil Rackers to keep the football away from Joshua Cribbs on kickoffs. The Cardinals were basically conceding that the Browns would start their drives at the 30-yard line or better, but they kept the ball out of the hands of the decidedly explosive Cribbs. It’s a decision that more teams should probably make. If it were me, I’d squib kick every time because Cribbs has had problems handling squibs in the past.


Standings

Total Dog Bones
Offensive Line---23
Kellen Winslow---18
Joshua Cribbs---17 (t)
Braylon Edwards---17 (t)
Derek Anderson---16


Net Dog Bones
Offensive Line---21
Kellen Winslow---18
Joshua Cribbs---15
Braylon Edwards---13
Rob Chudzinski---12


Total Demerits
Romeo Crennel---25
Derek Anderson---16 (t)
Defensive Line---16 (t)
Brian Billick---12
Todd Grantham---10


Net Demerits
Romeo Crennel---17
Brian Billick---12 (t)
Defensive Line---12 (t)
Todd Grantham---9
Andra Davis---8


Playoff Picture
The Browns’ loss to the Cardinals coupled with Pittsburgh’s win over Cincinnati realistically squelched the Browns’ opportunity to win the AFC North. For the Browns to achieve an AFC North coup, Pittsburgh must lose three out of its last four games, and the Browns have to run the table. The chances of that coming to fruition are faint, at best.

The good news is that although the Browns lost and are now tied with Tennessee for the second Wild Card spot, they still have a great shot at making the playoffs. If I had to put a rough number on it, I’d certainly give the Browns better than a 50-50 chance.

Other than Cleveland and Tennessee, the only real competitor for that second Wild Card spot appears to be the Buffalo Bills, who have quietly compiled a 6-6 record. Buffalo plays Miami this week, and if the Bills and Browns both win, it will set up a week 15 matchup at Cleveland Browns Stadium that could very well decide who’s in the driver’s seat for that last Wild Card spot. Denver and Houston are both 5-7, and have a remote chance of getting back into Wild Card conversation.

Games that the Browns should keep an eye on this week include Miami at Buffalo, Tampa Bay at Houston, Carolina at Jacksonville, San Diego at Tennessee, and Kansas City at Denver.

Up Next: 12/9, At New York Jets, The Meadowlands, 4:15
The New York Jets are not a good football team. If you remember, the Browns beat them last year when the Browns were completely rancid. Sure, the Jets made the playoffs last season, but much of that was attributable to a weak schedule, and some smoke and mirrors cleverness from wunderkind head coach Eric Mangini.

This year, the Jets aren’t sneaking up on anyone (except the Steely McBeams) and they’re gunning for a top five draft pick at 3-9. It’s worth mentioning that two of those wins were against the Miami Minnows.

At any rate, the Browns are still a young, inexperienced team, so any road game could potentially be difficult. That said, the Jets don’t really do anything well; they’re twenty-eighth in total offense and twenty-fifth in total defense. But the Jets are still scrappy, and they have been in several close games, as seven of their games have been decided by a touchdown or less.

New York’s second year quarterback, Oregon alumnus Kellen Clemens, has struggled since taking over for Chad Pennington, the quarterback who once earned the emphatic approval of a frisky Joe Namath. (I want to kiss you…YEEEAH!)

Clemens has only four touchdowns against seven interceptions, and New York’s new acquisition at running back, Thomas Jones, hasn’t seen much daylight, averaging only 3.6 yards per carry. The Jets have two capable receivers in Jerricho Cotchery and Laveranues Coles, but they haven’t seen the football very much with Clemens under center.

Number two running back Leon Washington, a former Seminole in his second season, is arguably New York’s most explosive player, and he handles all the punt and kick returning duties. Washington has three kickoff returns for touchdowns this season, and is averaging a robust 30.6 yards per return.

This is a team that the Browns absolutely should beat, and they should do so by multiple touchdowns. The porous New York defense allows over 141 yards per game on the ground, so expect Rob Chudzinski to serve the New Yawkers a main course of Jamal Lewis, with a Jason Wright garnish.

The Browns need to beat a bad team in blowout fashion, something they’ve failed to do so far this season, in order to boost their confidence heading into the final three games. The Jets might be just what the doctor ordered.

My Call: Browns 38, Jets 17

Stupid Bowls

NFL Films has released a boxed set called America's Game, a 40-disc epic where each installment documents the season of the eventual Super Bowl Champion, I through XL. Just what I want, 40 discs of some other stupid team winning the Super Bowl and not so much as an orange helmet even appearing. No word on whether it comes with pins to poke your eyeballs with as you watch.

I love pro football, but watching other clubs repeatedly earning the glory of Super Bowl victory is not my idea of a good time. Think about it: the entire set goes for $140, meaning that as part of the deal I'm shelling out $17.50 for a 5-disc retrospective of the steelers' championship-winning squads. No thanks.

That was a touchdown

NFL Picks: Week 13

Last Week
Andy: 8-8
Nick: 7-9

Year To Date
Andy: 24-21-1
Nick: 29-16-1


COWBOYS (-7) vs. Packers
Andy: Cowboys
Nick: Packers


VIKINGS (-3.5) vs Lions
Andy: Vikings
Nick: Vikings

RAMS (-3) vs Falcons
Andy: Rams
Nick: Rams

TITANS (-4) vs Texans
Andy: Texans (next time I take the Titans I'm calling them the titties)
Nick: Texans

DOLPHINS (-1) vs Jets
Andy: Dolphins
Nick: Jets

REDSKINS (-5.5) vs Bills
Andy: Redskins (would you EVER bet this? ever?)
Nick: Redskins

CHIEFS (+5.5) vs Chargers
Andy: Chargers
Nick: Chargers

COLTS (-6.5) vs Jaguars
Andy: Jagoffs
Nick: Colts

EAGLES (-3) vs Seahawks
Andy: Seahawks
Nick: Seahawks

PANTHERS (-3) vs 49ers
Andy: 49ers
Nick: 49ers

SAINTS (-3) vs Bucs
Andy: Saints
Nick: Bucs

CARDS (PK) vs Browns
Andy: Browns
Nick: Browns

RAIDERS (+3.5) Broncos
Andy: Broncos
Nick: Broncos

BEARS (+1.5) vs Giants
Andy: Bears
Nick: Giants

STEELERS (-7) vs Bengals
Andy: Bengals
Nick: Steelers

RAVENS (+20.5) vs Patriots
Andy: Ravens
Nick: Patriots

Heroes & Zeroes: Week 12

I hate to break it to you, but the Browns have gotten boring.

Another week, another win, making it five out of six for the team with no logo. No double-digit comebacks, no last second field goals, no overtime. The score was 27-17, but the game wasn’t that close, as the Browns took the lead late in the first half, built a comfortable lead in the second half, and then shut the door on the Texans with a steady diet of Jamal Lewis’ bruising runs.

Just another day at the office for a team that has vastly exceeded everyone’s expectations except for a few extremely inebriated Clevelanders. If the Browns can put together a few more “boring” games, they’ll find themselves somewhere they haven’t been for nearly five years: the playoffs.


This Week’s Heroes


Author’s Note: There aren’t enough Dog Bones to go around this week, and that’s a great problem to have…

Five Dog Bones: Brandon McDonald
Rookie Brandon McDonald (fourth round pick, Memphis) is one of only four (out of seven) members of last April’s draft class who remain on the active roster. At least we know that McDonald’s roster spot certainly wasn’t wasted.

An injury kept Eric Wright out of the lineup, and gave McDonald a chance to shine in the nickel package. McDonald responded, playing exceptionally well in coverage. The Texans were well aware that the Browns were giving a greenhorn significant time in the secondary, and made a concerted effort to keep Andre Johnson on McDonald’s side of the field. But McDonald rose to the occasion, helping the secondary limit the uber-talented Andre Johnson to just 37 yards on three catches.

McDonald’s biggest play of the day was clearly his fourth quarter interception of Matt Schaub, which set up the Browns’ final score of the day, a Jamal Lewis touchdown run that erased any doubt. If that wasn’t enough, McDonald also had a big day on special teams, making two tackles in kick coverage.

Although it was only one game, it’s difficult not to be impressed with McDonald. How McDonald has been stuck behind a stiff like Kenny Wright on the depth chart is beyond me. McDonald looks to have potential as a nickel back, and possibly a starter at some point down the road. Phil Savage’s maneuvering on draft day traded quantity for quality, and assuming that Brady Quinn’s progressing as rapidly as has been rumored, Savage appears to have added four quality pieces via the ‘07 draft.

Four Dog Bones: Kellen Winslow
During the last two seasons, Kellen Winslow has become the heart and soul of the Cleveland Browns. Do you remember when Winslow was ripped by the media for stating that “I hate to be brash, but I think my 90 percent [health] is still better than every tight end out there.” As far as being a receiver’s concerned, I’m inclined to agree with him.

Braylon Edwards can still be inconsistent, but Winslow has given the Browns the kind of reliability that Karl Malone used to deliver on the hardwood for the Utah Jazz. And unlike the Mailman, Winslow delivers almost exclusively on Sundays.

Only once this year has Winslow posted fewer than four catches, and Sunday marked his second game of 10-plus catches, and his third 100 yard game of the year. Winslow leads all tight ends in receptions (tied with Tony Gonzalez), receiving yards, and yards per catch, and ranks seventh in touchdowns. There aren’t many receivers in the league more adept at finding holes in coverage and elevating to make the tough catch.

No Browns player is more deserving of Pro Bowl recognition than Winslow. Well, maybe Joshua Cribbs.

Three Dog Bones: Jamal Lewis

"When it gets to be cold and it's November and December, it's my time of year. It's time to run the football." -Jamal Lewis

Jamal Lewis had his second consecutive strong performance, and has exceeded 20 carries in back-to-back games for the first time this season. Lewis appears to be finding a groove, and not a moment too soon, as Cleveland’s final four games are in cold weather cities (New York, Cleveland, Cincinnati, Cleveland).

With 29 carries for 134 yards, Lewis helped the Browns bulldoze the Texans. Lewis added a touchdown which pushed his season total to eight scores, already the third most touchdowns in his career. Lewis has an outside chance to tie or break his career-high of 14 touchdowns (2003), and is quietly compiling a very solid season.

In the past two games, Lewis has been running with a renewed vigor, and his foot injury seems healed. The remainder of the Browns’ schedule is composed of at least four teams that they should beat. With the exception of Cincinnati and possibly Arizona, there aren’t any teams that the Browns should ever trail by more than a possession, so we should see a very balanced attack from Rob Chudzinski’s offense.

These are teams that the Browns should lead in the second half, comfortably in most cases, so Lewis can expect a heavy workload in the games to come. I still think the Browns should be working Jason Wright into the game more, not only as a change of pace, but to ensure that Lewis is fresh down the stretch.

Two Dog Bones: Lawrence Vickers
Lawrence Vickers is now on the short list of my favorite Browns, a list that also includes Steve Heiden, Joe Thomas, and Kellen Winslow.

Although Jamal Lewis received most of the fanfare, Vickers was an integral part of Lewis’ success against the Texans. It was an absolute pleasure to watch Vickers lead block for Lewis, blowing up defenders to spring Lewis to the second and third level. Vickers’ progression as a blocker over the last year and a half has been amazing, and it’s safe to say that he was a steal for Phil Savage in the sixth round of the ‘06 draft.

True fullbacks are an endangered species in the NFL, with many teams switching to a more versatile H-back that’s closer to a tight end than a fullback. Teams want fullbacks that can catch the football and be put in motion before the snap, and they’re willing to sacrifice the power blocking of a traditional fullback for the speed of a hybrid.

The Browns used to have a traditional fullback in Terrelle Smith, and while Smith was a sound blocker, his hands were made of granite and he was often too slow to lead block on sweeps and other running plays to the outside. Vickers is an upgrade over a traditional fullback like Smith in almost every facet of the game; he’s faster, a competent receiver, a quality ball carrier, and can still lay the lumber on blocks.

Lone Bone: Todd Grantham
Grantham has taken some major heat from fans for the defense’s apparent regression this season, but his scheme got the job done this week. Houston’s best offensive weapon is Andre Johnson, and the Browns keyed on Johnson, deciding to force guys like Owen Daniels, Ron Dayne, and Kevin Walter to beat them.

While those three all played a solid game, it wasn’t enough without a meaningful contribution from Johnson, their resident superstar. The Browns allowed 314 yards of total offense to the Texans. And while that isn’t a great number, it’s almost 100 yards less than the 406 yards per game the Browns were yielding prior to the Houston game.

It’s only one week, and the defense is still the team’s obvious weakness, but maybe this is a harbinger of things to come. If Grantham’s defense can achieve an average level of performance, or even mediocrity, the Browns will cruise to a playoff birth and might be a tough out come January.


This Week’s Zeroes


Five Demerits: The Rooneys and Pittsburgh Brass
Coming off of a game during which the Browns had few figures ripe for ridicule, the Pittsburgh’s management came through in the clutch to get the nod.

Steelers’ management decided to re-sod Heinz Field after four WPIAL high school games were played on the ketchup field on Friday, AND the University of Pittsburgh squared off against South Florida on Saturday. Mind you, it wasn’t true replacement - the new turf was simply rolled out on top of the field - which might explain why Willie Parker looked about three inches taller this week.

The old field wasn’t removed or killed/ground up because it will only stay in place for the remainder of this season. After the season, the new turf will be removed and the original playing surface will be re-exposed and used in the future.

I had a good laugh about this concept when I heard about it prior to Monday night’s game, but the result was far worse than anyone could have imagined.

The Steelers/Dolphins game was like watching a pee wee league game where both teams are trying really hard, but you need to keep swigging down coffee to keep from falling asleep due to boredom. Thank God for the superimposed line of scrimmage and first down line provided by ESPN, because the field was marked about as well as Pittsburgh’s maze-like streets.

The sad state of Heinz Field left the two teams playing on what looked like a giant green and brown sponge, and the NFL couldn’t have been happy with the poor product that was put on display (in HD!).

Why bother with new turf so late in the year? Why hasn’t the Heinz Field grounds crew done a better job with their playing surface? Why don’t the Steelers install field turf? Why do Steelers fans think that yellow handkerchiefs look badass? I simply don’t have the answers.

But one thing is certain; Monday night’s game did little to alter the prevailing (and incorrect) national opinion of Pittsburgh as a dirty, grimy, steel mill city. Fact: there presently are no steel mills within the Pittsburgh city limits. Fact: Pittsburgh is no longer the smog-filled metropolis once described by author James Parton as “hell with the lid off”. Fact: Pittsburgh is still filled with toothless, beer-bellied, Steely McBeam loving morons. You can’t win ‘em all.

Four Demerits: Romeo Crennel
Romeo Crennel is such a nice guy that it’s impossible not to pull for him. Plus he looks kind of like a walrus, which is a cool animal…

But Sunday was yet another reminder to many Browns fans of why they had major (or maybe even lieutenant colonel) doubts about Crennel after the debacle that was last season. Once again, a time management blunder nearly cost the Browns points at the end of the first half.

With under a minute left, Derek Anderson completed a 12-yard pass to Jason Wright that took the Browns to the Houston 11-yard line. Anderson rushed the Browns up to the line to run another play when the best choice was clearly to use the Browns’ final timeout. The Browns called that timeout with 27 seconds remaining, after letting more than 20 seconds run off of the clock.

Those 20 seconds were valuable. At the 11-yard line, the Browns would have had time to attempt a run, or throw a pass short of the goal line if they had called the timeout immediately. The Browns were fortunate enough to find the end zone on the very next play, but they were lucky that Crennel’s time management mistake didn’t come back to haunt them.

The time management problems are a microcosm of Crennel’s in-game coaching problems. In addition, his teams never seem to adjust well (if at all) during halftime, and he consistently struggles with coach’s challenges. What’s frustrating about these deficiencies is that things like time management and coach’s challenges should be the easy part of the job. Nine year old kids playing Madden Football know how to use timeouts at the end of a half. Hell, Crennel could send me five bucks and his cell phone number and from my living room, I’d let him know what calls he should and should not challenge.

It’s frustrating and unfortunate, but I’m still wholly unconvinced that Crennel is the right man for the job. Are we merely witnessing the Peter Principle at work?

Three Demerits: Rob Chudzinski
Author’s Note: The Browns played well in virtually all facets of the game, so I’m starting to nitpick a little…

Is it just me, or did the first quarter of the game feel like Maurice Carthon was calling the shots on offense? There were several uncreative Jamal Lewis dive plays right into the line that gained next-to-nothing, but the bad mistake was on fourth and one from the Houston 39.

The Browns decided to go for it on fourth down, which seemed like a fairly logical choice, but the play they ran was questionable at best. Chud called Lawrence Vickers’ number - no surprise there, as Vickers has established himself as a competent short yardage back - but for some reason, the Browns ran to the right, not the left.

If the Browns need one yard and decide run the football, Chudzinski better run to the left 100 times out of 99. Joe Thomas and Eric Steinbach are the strength of this offensive line, if not the team as a whole. Call me crazy, but if I’m running the football for one lousy yard, I’m doing it behind my premier guard and tackle.

I don’t expect Chud to make this mistake twice.

Two Demerits: Tennessee Titans
Three weeks ago the Titans were in the catbird seat (has anyone ever actually sat in said seat, is it comfortable, does it recline?) at 6-2, with a sleeper hold on a Wild Card birth and an outside should at an outright divisional crown in the AFC South. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

The Browns’ win over the Texans is even more significant because Houston plays in the same division as Tennessee, and the first Wild Card tiebreaker is winning percentage against common opponents. Plus, Tennessee lost to the Bengals, another common opponent, another boon to the Browns’ tiebreaker status.

The Titans have lost three straight, and their vaunted defense has allowed 32.3 points per game in those three contests. It’s not a coincidence that Albert Haynesworth has been injured and unable to suit up for the last three games.

Haynesworth might be able to play this week against Houston, but the damage might already be done. Question: in this battle between Houston, Jr. and Houston, Sr., will some hayseed down in Texas actually fire up the old “Houston Oilers, Number One” cassette while driving in his beat-to-shit Ford pickup, and which team will that indigenous ne’er-do-well actually be rooting for? Given the general weakness of Cleveland’s remaining schedule and Tennessee’s tough upcoming matchups against San Diego, at Kansas City, and at Indianapolis, the Titans’ playoff aspirations may be sinking faster than the MS Explorer.

One Demerit: Braylon Edwards
Edwards had four catches for 57 yards and a touchdown, but he dropped several Derek Anderson passes that hit him right in the hands. My Michigan-loving friend (it’s embarrassing, I know) who shall remain nameless has informed me that Edwards’ problems with easy catches dates back to his days with the Maize and Blue.

Edwards is so talented that it makes it all the more frustrating when he doesn’t haul in an easy catch. Frankly, these drops are keeping him from breaking through to that “elite” level at which we know he’s capable of playing. Some of Edwards’ drops are nothing short of mind-boggling, especially after watching one of his leaping, acrobatic catches that defy logic and gravity.

For the Browns’ sake, let’s hope that Derek Anderson isn’t very accurate this week as Edwards seems to have the most trouble catching anything that’s thrown between his belt loops and the top of his socks.


Standings
Author’s Note: At the suggestion of several readers, I’m going to start posting “net” standings in addition to “total” standings. Net standings are the sum of an individuals Dog Bones minus his Demerits.

Total Dog Bones
Offensive Line---23
Joshua Cribbs---17
Kellen Winslow---16
Derek Anderson---16
Braylon Edwards---13


Net Dog Bones
Offensive Line---21
Joshua Cribbs---17
Kellen Winslow---16
Braylon Edwards---9
Kamerion Wimbley---6


Total Demerits
Romeo Crennel---25
Defensive Line---16
Derek Anderson---11
Todd Grantham---10
Brian Billick---8 (t)
Andra Davis---8 (t)


Net Demerits
Romeo Crennel---17
Defensive Line---12
Todd Grantham---9
Brian Billick---8 (t)
Andra Davis---8 (t)


Playoff Picture
Although the Browns still trail the Steelers by a game (and essentially two games due to the head-to-head tiebreaker) in the AFC North, last week greatly strengthened the Browns’ shot at a Wild Card birth, and the Browns now control their own destiny. In other words, as long as the Browns keep winning, they’ll be playing football in January.

Around the conference, the Patriots clinched the AFC East, and Buffalo, Denver, and Kansas City all lost, putting all three teams’ Wild Card hopes in doubt. Denver and Kansas City still have a chance to win the lackluster AFC West. San Diego won to move a game ahead of Denver in the West, and Jacksonville, who leads Cleveland by a game in the Wild Card standings, won their third straight game.

This week’s games with AFC playoff implications include Jacksonville at Indianapolis, San Diego at Kansas City, the aforementioned Houston at Tennessee, Denver at Oakland, and Cincinnati at Pittsburgh.

Up Next: 12/2, At Arizona, University of Phoenix Stadium, 4:15
The 5-6 Cardinals should be a good challenge for the Browns, especially on the road. In week 5, the Cardinals lost quarterback Matt Leinart for the season. But no matter, Kurt Warner has stepped in and outplayed the underperforming Leinart, and Warner brings a solid 90.8 quarterback rating into Sunday’s game. Not bad for a guy who turned 36 last June.

Edgerrin James is having a decent season, but he’s averaging only 3.7 yards per carry, and the Cardinals average only 87.6 yards per game on the ground. James’ struggles, combined with the continued success of Joseph Addai, are making James look more like the beneficiary of Peyton Manning and the Colts’ offensive system than an elite running back.

The Cardinals boast a potent air attack, headlined by Larry Fitzgerald. The former Pitt Panther already has 1,000 yards receiving this season. Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin make a formidable duo, and both receivers have six touchdown catches. Tight end Leonard Pope can be sneaky in the red zone, he only has 17 catches, but four were for touchdowns.

Rookie head coach Ken Whisenhunt has received improved play from his defense, which ranks thirteenth in total yardage and yields 23.5 points per game on average. Although Arizona’s defense is improved, expect the Browns to score in the high 20s or low 30s in the desert.

Derek Anderson should be wary of cornerback Antrel Rolle. The third year DB intercepted Carson Palmer three times when the Cardinals met the Bengals in Cincinnati two weeks ago.

It could be tough on the road, but I don’t see the Cardinals slowing down the Browns’ offense. If the Browns can make some timely stops on defense, they’ll pull it out. I expect the Browns to win their sixth game out of seven, and keep the pressure on their playoff competition.

My Call: Browns 31, Cardinals 20

Jumping the gun

Plain Dealer Cavs writer Branson Wright went on record as saying that if the Cavs were to beat the Celtics last night, that they should give the MVP award to LeBron James, and reasserted the same after the Cavs' overtime victory last night.

Bran, I know that as a sportswriter you're in the hyperbole business, but maybe wait until the Cavs play the other 67 games left on the schedule?


Speaking of the Plain Dealer, the bizarre site redesign with the Cavs and Browns pages is absolutely horrible. The old design had problems with multiple links to stories, broken links, incorrect photo captions, and articles that didn't continue on to their next page, but at least the front pages were workable. This blog-style thing is atrocious.

Big win

The season is still young, but tonight marked a very big win for the Cavaliers.

The Cavs knocked off Boston 109-104 tonight at The Q to push their record to 9-6, extend their winning streak to four, pull into a virtual tie with Detroit, and hand the Celtics just their second loss of the season.

Fred McLeod kept commenting about how tonight's contest felt like a playoff game, and I'm inclined to agree with him. The crowd was into the game for what seemed like the first time all year, and it was mostly a half court game.

LeBron continued to build his case for MVP, with 38 points, 13 assists, and 4 boards. But the key was Drew Gooden, who added 24 points and 13 rebounds on a terrific 11 of 15 shooting.

Gooden is one of the streakiest shooters in the league, but every half dozen games or so, he gets dialed in. When this occurs, the Cavs have to recognize it and feed him until he cools off, and tonight the Cavs did just that. I've been a huge proponent of running the offense almost exclusively through James' slashing, with Gooden/Z pounding the paint when those three are on the floor, and it's amazing how much better the Cavs' shot selection becomes when Larry Hughes is "injured"...

Regardless, a huge win for the Cavs and a definite confidence-builder. I was worried that the Cavs might have problems handling the Celtics mentally after Boston beat up on them pretty badly in the preseason, but obviously those worried were dead wrong. Hopefully the Cavs remember this win if only to know that they can beat the Celtics, particularly if the two teams meet up in the playoffs.

Rumors of the Cavaliers' demise have been greatly exaggerated...

Many Happy Returns...

First, Bernie Kosar, one of my favorite football players, former quarterback for the Miami Dolphins, Dallas Cowboys, and primarily, the Cleveland Browns. Kosar remains one of the most intelligent quarterbacks to ever strap on a helmet, and is one of the most charismatic and beloved figures in Cleveland sports history. Bernie is 44 today.

Second, today happens to be my birthday. For those of you keeping score at home, today's birthday makes me 21 years of age, which means I can drink beer now.

I wonder what being drunk feels like? I hope it's fun!